Pyre for a Long March

For now
I trudge on into a bleak future
Following a lonely shadow
Until I pass silently away
Dead flame of faith

Love was my pyre
It was too great
I cared too deeply
Imbued for a gesture
I could never explain

She came
The problem was sorrow
I was nearly no more than ashes
Stumbling upon neutral ground
Until control beckoned my silence
And I passed silently away
Dead pyre of flame

Love was my fire
It was reason and faith
I cared too much
But never saw results
My changes charted
Never trusted or matched
The expectations unexplained

Love was my pyre
It was too great
I cared too deeply
Imbued for a gesture
I could never explain

Why do I exist
Why am I so abused
Why does it make me happy
To give fuel to changes
Life's daily cycle seeds

One Way Return

Just let me go
Just let me be
Finding my last breath
A burden to your soul

I broke into your heart
Forwarding wounds like spam
There is no redemption for this
No return ticket from hell

Just got there dead alone
Just after I found her
My sweet shadow
Yet I burdened her soul

Now I've come full circle
To the place they'll bury me
The animation of tragedy is who I am
Controlled for a moment by a promise
Untill the dead light screamed go
Hell has no return tickets
Not for me

No Sleep Less Rest

I don't care who you were
Come out of fucking hiding
Show me who you want to be
A wounded rage filled girl
Or a honourable maiden
A geek worth my all
Either way I'm sorry
I'm sorry I say
Shit

I can't fall asleep tonight
I've got to change my life
Wounding others in my aftermath
Is no life worth the living

I don't care
You can't fool yourself forever
Don't wake up stoic to my pain
Don't regret but prey about why
Living in what if's equals suffering
It's not what you deserve
But it's what I get

I can't fall asleep tonight
I've got to change my symptoms
Traumatizing others is killing me
This is no life worth the living

Don't ever forget
Don't wake up wondering
Never forget how you felt
When I breathed life upon your neck
You're worth more than my pitiful fight and flight
I'm begging you for all love's lonely sake
For the right hero come out of your cave

I can't sleep
Blessed are the lonely
For they shall one day awake
To find themselves amidst love
May they never forget
But forgive their past

I don't care where you are
Not where you were last night
All this time I've been searching
The timing wasn't at all right
But your last shove of me away

Was it your heart's hurt
Or to achieve an easy way
I'm sorry I gave up wounded
And walked away that night

If this is Closure

Disclose that I'm a mess
If this is closure it's a shitty end
Not even a picture to remember you
This is the amalgamation of all my wrongs

In my final act I couldn't speak
I was no longer a lover
Simply the enemy
I recall the pain
Unbearable

Documents released tonight
I show all the signs of an asshole
A fucked up tragedy of a life
Force myself to swallow
For all my wrongs

Now I walk on pretending
That my life could ever again be right
Now I walk on having broken another heart
I am the man I never wanted to be
Embrace the villain not chivalry

In my final act I couldn't speak
I was no longer a lover
Simply the enemy
I recall the pain
Unbearable

No picture to remind me
Of your beautiful sings of life
The impact of words or the lack of
For all my wisdom is the downfall
Who gave up was it you or was it me

I don't care, I'm so so so sorry
Sorry I was weak and not strong
Sorry I seemed a picture of your mom
Sorry I reminded you of his death
Sorry I lacked the resolve of silence
If I could sing, I'd sing this song
The million words I've written
Of the pain I caused you
Since it's been over

Tri-Force of Children

Process of elimination complete
I was compared and put in a box
Courage wasn't enough for such a fight
It's hard enough being my own man
While battling wound I didn't inflict
I'm sorry love for all I did or didn't
As you ushered me out the door

Now walk on in peace
With your tri-force of children
They can teach you so much about life
Let go the staple labels and embrace love

One is an asshole black and white
His best friend is tan with golden eyes
Eldest sibling is a beautiful soul state
Alaska loving heart embraces you

A process of grieving
I can't recover from this
Such a beautiful face dark eyes
Gazing into them was safety of soul
Could she ever say the same of mine

I was gaunt and terrorizing of a man
Reckless and relentless to feel right
A mental medical code I can't deny
Distress not for ocean eyed me

Now walk on in peace
With your tri-force of children
They can teach you so much about life
Let go the staple labels and embrace love

No more asshole but simply odd
Embrace them all as apples of your eye
Alaska can teach you temperament of rage
They love you in ways I could not
A thing I cannot ever explain

The Final Chance: Awaken

The final chance
Feeling your heart beat against mine
Brought us closer to the divine
Sorry I never made you happy
The pain inside was a cage
Despair kept me at bay
Arms length creating scars
Wounds covered by more
Our final chance came
And went before
We noticed at all
Before our eyes

I'm so divided
Whose side are you on
I can hardly tell some days
Are you with me or against me
Am I waiting for a miracle or a wish
Is it dependant upon a God deep in space

The final chance came
Brought us closer to forever apart
The divine spirit wished for change
But swallowed was all my energy
The sound of flowers growing
Was all I ever felt at all
My final chance came
And went before
Your eyes

So divided
Whose side were you on
Could hardly tell some days
How could I continue to wait
All my miracles and wishes dissipated
Whatever gods in space left me in despair
I must be a tragic villain of disgrace

To the Past: Desert of Illusion and Pain

Ran away
Run away
Look away
Sickness of face
It's stage for illusion
Lying images that decay
Time wastes all that is fake

Trolled by evil shadows
The mirror pings my eyes
Reveals the trauma of mind
Haunted by Jesus in me
Like a voice in the desert
Reason inflicted upon us
All

Don't run
Don't flee
Walk together
Into far far away
A never land fairy tale awaits
Lying safely in each others arms
While all around streams tragedy

Troll the forums of all images
Mirrors reflect statements never made
I the illusion of a villain with Lucifer in me
Like a voice in the heart of the desert
Jesus said as if screaming
Can you hear me now
To all

Put away the pain
Forgive but never forget
Time heals nothing alone
We must challenge and react
This is the motion of change
It is daunting but necessary
Every day to engage
When we wake up