The Poetic Dark

A Unique Structure,

      Despite all my awareness of the impending impact of despairing self loathing, my conscious efforts  were not enough to persuade the Poetic Dark to leave me be. Hope for myself is lost, I surrender it all willingly to help others, holding none back. Thus I could not harness it to overcome the darkness that dwells in the shadows of my valueless lonesome decrepit life. Ending up printing myself out digitally with tweets, now over 8,000, like:

Border transgression,Mental push to rationalise faith in a world of wishful fiction's ability to send us to idle comfort,Forgetting to live!

The death of the mental illness of prejudice,The birth of unprecedented love & understanding which leads to acceptance!Things I don't know.

Some say sink or swim,I wrote myself a ship without a white flag,There upon sailed the seas of endless imagination until my soul was empty.

A particular new favourite of mine the monster created while cycling through Pollock Park in Glasgow, Scotland. The peaceful serenity of Mother Earth's majestic beauty cannot sate the passionate creative dark within. It comes at random, it comes like the onset of a fever, like writer's block in reverse.

It isn't something I have to work at or think about, it just happens...

Pretty sure it'll leave a misunderstood legacy behind of suicide, depression and self loathing, but that's not the truth of it. I do actually really enjoy life, being myself. This shell that my ghost exists within is actually very awesome, it now has long curly dark locks, muscles that allow a hundred pull ups in half an hour and a lengthy cycle every day, not to mention its flexible and for the most part pretty joyful, nearly always smiling!

Survival hope of the heart tactics off,I am the last of the hydra,Watching my other selves drown & I go willingly into the hole in my wrists

Leeching off borrowed moments of time,Sanctuary scene what's left inside the heart's battle ground,Willing extra fate curricular activities!

Rate your answer 1-10 why you're alive,O negative hopeless romantic pessimist blood at minus one,Positive for the sake of everyone save self

Dear All Mother,Whatever theology is truth,Bow to the vaccine of fate,Hope faded from the plague of human reasoning after destiny's fall

Friendless victim of misunderstanding,No living soul could embrace the poison in my mind & ask why... Let alone walk for a moment at my side

Just keep searching for acceptance,Dream of the white noise within:Hope,Cant pretend I'll find it anymore,I will never truly be part of this

No creat(ed)ive God could pull out the arrows bleeding the heart on my slit wrist dry,Raise no arms to lift my drudge of doubt chest anchor

Sink my eyes into the arms that surround me,Too bad they are my own,A fool sucked back into the illusion of love & acceptance in this li(f)e

So sick of myself,F*cking glad no one is watching this stream of doubt at the edge of life,Signs of the decrepit misanthrope within surface!

Insufferable of syllables,Consciously worded self destructive arc of the plot,Valve of consequence voice command shut the fail safe off!

An every day attempt to empty the hard drive of the heart,Waking breaks the rules of suicide,Should have filled a hole the first day of life

The cloud of darkness has passed,The illusion of solitude worked out by poetic means,Healing through art,I recommend finding your dreams!

Calm is the vibe of a man who dreams of taking a love stance of the heart's virtue reflected will for another,Peaceful alive where she is...

God damn the eighty thousand lines met by silence,All the things I ever had to say,Recognition will come after my wrists have paid the price

Ten thousand days of rain,Clouds parted that I begged to stay,Grey is the only God damned colour left for me,Shade of my lost forlorn soul!

Drowning soul,Drenched by years of silence & rain,Single digit fist holds the chain of hope against the undertow,I dream of the unattainable

Emotionally breathless after a flicker of hope's mantle rekindled went dark,Rearrange the heart yet again,Push for love past the lonely pain

The world in seven days,No moment's rest since the dawn of man,Kind of at a loss in the struggle to appreciate the virtue of love gone mad!

Paper personality disorder overly produced malignant spread through the soul killing off dreams tumour,Host accepted no treatment or love...

Ugly black ghoul duckling trapped in the mirror,Shadow's chains hideously overdone,No escape for the I accepted on life's lonely parade.

Mic check the love at the door for petty verbiage boasting of sexual glory,Appalling revenant dialogue with dollars & ghosts of debt,Greed!

Yeah folks, that's all one day of writing, not to mentioned the pre-tweet-buffered ones I didn't copy to paste. It really doesn't matter what I write any more, no one cared in the first place and doesn't now. Everyone's turned off my feed on facebook, blocked or deleted me.

Most would think that's pretty messed up, but it is merely a poetry the algorithms of prayer. Mine occurs in reverse, instead of asking for what is needed, I betray myself to the opposing darkness. In this way I keep mend myself, yet also do I perpetuate the Creative Dark. Hopefully someday a few of the words I've written inspire someone else' imagination to create, to live by hope or pursue their dreams with dedication.

For all these lines are but forgettable items, like me, when I pass away all this will go dormant, along with my podcasts, short stories and novel word as well the twitter and no one will give a f*cking damn. But that's okay, it doesn't stop me from writing, for when I am empty then I shall die.

In earnest anticipation of,