I remember,

Wishing to be numb,

Unable to regret the bottom,

The greatest dead metaphor,

For the killing shape floor,

Silent fields of fulfillment, 

Where in lies our dreams,

Unable to come true...

Because we deemed,

Ourselves naught,

Not good enough,

To even attempt,

Accomplishing,

Any of... Of,

Them...!?!

Lock F*ck Down 1.0 (hope, shall we...?)

Play...

A piano,

Any voice,

Remember,

The sadness,

Prod all sorrow,

Rebirth a joy,

Out of dark,

Will you?

Will...

I...?

In lieu...

Of; Whatever failed capacity of our shared humanity I have... Imperfectly shown myself to be, unto you, my shared existence family... I am so very, very apocalypse-self, sorry. For I am and never have been, anything or anyone; But a shell of an attempt at living. For(saken) as long as I can remember, and with my memory and awareness, that's a traumatically embraced long formidable time, ever set against my mental health.

Remember; Everyone. Every single arse-ended-idiot-one of us, has a story that lead us to this very self-perceptive 'shitty moment,' in time. Judge and respond not for what we are, what we could be... No respond to everyone as an unknown story, you've now been written into, yet to be told, until you... Repay shit with kindness, helplessness with hope, grumpy troll two-back-facedness with a smile that chooses to ignore all...

Mental ill-health, when un-reflected in lieu of... hope! Can make or allow habits, tendancies and actions from dark or even just shite thoughts, which harm the self and those around them (ourselves). Self-harm, with like... Knifes and swords and shit... Or hot pipes, fishing line and scolding hot water or maybe a false self image in the mirror, body-dismorphia; which leads to eating disorders of several types, which most of us don't know how to handle ourselves let alone our outlying fr(i)ends and kin.

You may become a thief, a liar, a scoundral unto others or maybe just youself! Stealing time from your own life's timeline to persist in a certain image only unto you're own false perfection in the mirror; A perfection projected onto you, to us... By others, not from wthin, at least not originally... But persisted by such projections and manifested in yet uncounted ways. We harm... And are subsequently judged by actions we're not wholly accountable for, for reasons the judges are wonton, unwilling and shan't ever understand, because to ask 'why,' instead of incriminate is uncomfortable.

For if someone asked you, with witness or without, 'why,' and you gave an uncomfortable mental long long, untold years, ill health truth unto those who questioned your toxic behaviour, whether simply unto yourself or to those around you... Silence, most probably, would befall them and subsequently any relationship betwixt. Whether professional/working or family/fr(i)end... For 'mental health,' is still not a 'real thing.'
We still get told to man/testosteron/dick vulva/pussy/ovary up... Probably not the later three...

This isn't to say anything about me or my story. Remember in these wierd times, your children, for we were all once children are children of someone, who possibly unwittingly 'helped' to embed any unsaid mental health issues within us, whether we acknowledge them or 'man the pussy fuck up' acknowledge or not... So don't discount how anyone harms themselves, in any capacity, learn each of our personal, however seemingly inhumane stories, and to love them... Which may take ages, but it is our responsibility to embody all that is'love,' upon others. Famity or not. Everyone is everyone. We're supposed to be, 'For Everyone.'

In lieu of...
Helping others,
In dire times!

Naught...

Not any,

    Invisible one, Could (in)significant(ly) regression damned tell, The sleeve fairy bled heart out story of the most very solitary... They survived long beyond reflection.

In lieu of,
Them.