Wednesday, June 3, 2020

EMPATHY, 

     ATTENTION CHOSEN UNCONSCIENCE DEFICIT UNTO THE DEBT OF our TENSIONS; FOR ALL THESE WOUNDS WE OURSELVES CREATED...

IN LIEU OF OUR PARTICIPATION IN,
MAPPING OUR WAY OUT OF RACISM,
INHERITED UNINTENTIONALLY,
PERSON BY INFINITE PERSON,
WE'RE ALL EQUAL AND WE...
WE ALL WILL CONTINUE,
IN HOPES; TO EXIST!

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Remastered legacy insurance, 

      Unredeemable distorted portion disproportionate angelic fall horded dust out! Corporate untaxable beings we're flexing our every hope to over position take in the hire higher HIGH we're to think hope is anything... but... Capitalism and democracy...


In lieu of,
CHANGE!!! 
vX

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

While 'We' Still Draw Breath...

...
One,
Last,
Song,
Malady,
Blindness,
Dead voices,
Sadness sung,
A furlough of hope,
Encompassing the dying,
Chameleon camouflaged faith,
In-humanity we're wanton to keep,
Never anyone to fight but we...
Ourselves in the mirror be,
But tangents; withering,
Absorbed slithering,
Lost in the mire...
Beside the well,
At the world's:
Ending...
She,
...

Friday, May 22, 2020

Sister... IV

Sibling,

      You're the best influence of my insecurities ever told beyond the shared scars upon our skin, Selfishly honest we inflicted strange wounds, until... Tragedy or naught.

In lieu of...
Holding you again.

Monday, May 18, 2020

Sister II

Family...

    I glow for the best parts in you, Breathing a congested tragedy cough eternally, Desperately hidden, Aching behind an honest smile... Though oft sarcastic!

In lieu of our reunion,
Unto all others,
Begin to pay,
Attention...

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Sister...

You're...

    You are the best smile I ever created... Wrought upon the face of the best version of family I never had, Written upon your brow when we're together is the most infinite delighted look ever fashioned, Without whomever you've become I'd rarely fathom just how capable of dancing through the dangers of every second of the future coming to be...!?!

In lieu of our participation,
Within or without...
But ever smiling!

I love you.
Never and Always:
Change.

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Dear G-d...

No mythical one,

     Invisible lethargic force or compassion vagrant false diluted testimony harbinger entity ever wrote testaments on our dreamer's concrete imp idol panicked less than average fringe impressionable dignity orphaned lethargic hope lineage; Tomb of the forlorn energy: G-d who wrote all from dust never gave a manipulated f-ck you or yours ever made earthly souvenir tangible no jungle reprieve for slavery's endless treatment; Fortunes! Exist only for the operatives of self jealousy, Those who repel hope!

In lieu of,
Killing dreams...

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Naught VI

No silent anomaly one,

     Ever invisible vagrant written testaments of mansplaining dicks pissing pathetic puss filled zit exploding psalm themes of falsified hope into concrete, As imps panicked selling off their since birth orphaned dignity into Holocaust denial twitching purpose thought non-angelic nervous tombs where their habitually male manifested dead compassion forever disrespected G-d of the forlorn suffering never once pretended to marauder give a savage or simple minded pathetic manipulated f-ck they, you or yours ever made an earthly tangible enemy of eternity if ever... manipulated fortunes!

In lieu of our participation in...
Calculating our own ending!

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Naught V

No arbitrary one,

     Of: invisible derelict hopeless as a vagrant's written harbinger testaments in tomb concrete ever imp under devil's foot forever panicked falsified undead compassion dignity born orphaned belief in She, Always labelled He... G-d who (n)ever gave a manipulated faithless f-ck you or yours ever struggled a moment to make an earthly tangible diluted by slavery... Penny, Pence or any other money!

In lieu of our participation in...
Not participating...

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Naught IV

No...

    Solidarity one, Ever half significant derelict of compassion gave a grounded from flying ever, fuck! 

In lieu of our participation in,
Standing numb by...

Friday, April 24, 2020

Naught III

No solitary one,

     Ever half insignificantly compassion bled heart on the sleeve out a damn... About anyone other than their fairy-shit-tale reflection.

In lieu of our continued,
Participation...!?!

Monday, April 20, 2020

Naught II

Not any,

    Invisible one, Could (in)significant(ly) regression damned tell, The sleeve fairy bled heart out story of the most very solitary... They survived long beyond reflection.


In lieu of,

Them.

Friday, April 17, 2020

Personally Impersonal!

Good f*cking morning; Glasgow!

     So our household received it's first finances since the lock down started. When it all went down it was kinda a blur, I think I got sacked... By the former owner, but still have a job to go back to with the new owner when the lock down ends... Pretty sure I'm not entirely sure, about anything just now... One day, one smile at a time. For now I am an ex-hospitality manager turned 'professional gamer.'

     As I said, I'm a totes Professional Scottish Video Game Player and Social Media 'douche-influencer,' the seventh most renowned poet in Scotland; EVER and also the most fashionable person to exist. While I'm the best at most everything, including being the homes event coordinator, which includes slotting myself in in the role of cook and cleaner, my partner works in as a freelancer in the TV and Film Industry, which has taken a beyond massive hit just now. And I mean for the people who work in it, not only just that shows and movies peeps want to see are getting delayed.

    So this income we got, which was pretty awesome, came from Screen Scotland, which sits within Creative Scotland that supports filming in Scotland and the Staff who help to craft the films and television shows lots of us in the UK and beyond like to watch. It was a 'Bridging the Gap' support fund we applied for and only just received the email about last night, which was amazeballs.

    The cafe I was running, as you might have gathered was in between being purchased from a hobby owner to someone who wanted to grow the business and cared about the staff who managed the shop on his would be behalf. The old owner didn't pay us right or on time... Or even give us pay slips so even if we were employed by him on or before the 28th of February it would be hard to both prove and show just how much we got paid in order to get any sort of stupid 80% no ones got yet from the stumbling f*cktards we currently call a government.

     On top of that we were also paid in cash without a trace to HMRC a few weeks leading up to any sort of said sale of the business, which no one is sure has even happened yet... At least we didn't get proper sacked like the G1 staff or Weathersporks staff. Sad times for so many of us! So yeah, on top of all that my partner who is said to be a freelancer, but is also PAYE for some gigs because it all just depends on how the filming's productions write up their contracts for each individual for every department. Costume, set, production, locations, art dorkpartment and all the jazz I've forgotten to mention, as I work in a totally shite industry! I mean separate industry... Yes, separate... That's what I meant.

     Anyways... So when the email about the funding came through my partner, a legendary villain in this crime of a life, had just started a live drawing class online, she did see an email had come through but put it off until after the class was done and after we had eaten dinner, which was a double vat of chili! One spicy with sweet corn and the other rich and moreish with chocolate and coffee! She was nearly in tears when she opened the email, that someone out there was validating her, her industry, people working in her industry in Scotland just overwhelmed her with hope and confidence!

     Because... Just like me, her confidence was knocked, not having worked since December, which is normal for her as she takes a gap to recuperate and her industry is quiet in January and February with work normally starting up again in film and tv in Scotland end of March or Aprilish... Ish...  She was really hoping to be working by now and had the fear that her industry would just not open ever... again! Not a logical thought, but these are not very logical times as anyone can see. A government bailing out big multinational business, that may or may not even pay tax in our country, whilst the tax payers get closer and closer to beyond broke each day. Some people even going into over draft or taking out a loan to pay bills or by food... OUCH!    

     Any who... I had also had my confidence ruined the past few years from various jobs that I had taken that didn't turn out to be the jobs I thought they would be or just not fitting in to well into them. On top of that I suffer from mental illness, one I've had on board the brain since I was a teenager, but only discovered and started to treat when I was 29 years of ANCIENT! God that was like ages ago, so old now...

    This mental ill health that I've written poems about and what naughts takes a weird shape within the psychology of the self, ruining confidence, allowing the self to justify bad behaviour, destroy my own body to the point someone said I looked as gaunt thin as a holocaust victim, which is absolutely true! Though I still didn't see myself as thin enough, in the mirror or on the scale. Anyways, that's enough about me. We've got a touche of hope in our household.

I've never used my ill health or how it affects me to justify my stupidity, in fact I've nearly always tried to overcompensate with positivity and a good work ethic, to support those around me rather than be in a foul mood about myself wherever I might find myself in the world. But I wasn't very good at being a good person, only good at hiding the sh*te I always was. Sharing my wounds and hopes via poetry, nearly two and a half thousand wee trinkets I've posted over the years, mostly invisible which is totally okay. Yeah, but I hope some day they matter to someone out there, helping them and possible others as well through sh*t they're suffering or hoping to overcome like me, even if they don't feel a good person, they might just be...

     Remember others! We've all got our very own story at how we arrived into this very moment we're interacting with one another, face to face, online or over the phone, whatever...! So have a little patience and alot of empathy for one another. No matter the age of someone from tween to ancient, our stories are all so very our own and the histories we carry could be good or terrible! Beyond rubbish even! What's more, we don't know where eachothers minds are in the moment, someone might be downcast for mental ill health due to a recent death in the family, which is absolutely relevant just now. Or... They might be away to the shops to hide from domestic abuse or the shouting of parents at them or one another...

     The darkest of dark demands the brightest of bright. One day, one interaction, one massive f*cking smile at a time! G-d Damnit presents, the bullsh*t world we currently live in...! F*ck's sake.

Cheers and thanks for reading,
Written by a 40 year old idiot!A dweeb who gives a shit...
vX


https://villainoftruth.blogspot.com/2020/04/personally-impersonal.html

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Poetic Isolated Woes...

Life...
It cannot be,
Dictated by contracts,
Because external sources,
Build them to make profit...
Not actually to support,
So in the end we're all,
Attempting to appease,
A dying economy,
Which we bail,
We bail out,
So we...
We're,
The hope,
The fall back,
Their insurance,
Not the contracted way,
Not that way round...
Not one bit at all,
It's quite sad...
Sad to see...
No help,
But us,
In our,
Time,
Of,
Need!

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Strict,
Docile,
Obsidian,
Perimeters,
Ubiquitous yet,
Obstruction measures,
Melded to murder hope,
In a relinquishment requiem,
Dire faithless sight moment,
Accompanied the last choir,
Singing praises of doom,
Unto the end we knew,
Foretold by books...
G-ds who abandon,
We're forlorn rot,
Will we ever,
Renew...?
Will...
We?

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Strict,
Perimeters,
Ubiquitously set,
Obstruction of hope,
 Relinquished in a requiem,
Dire faithless sight moment,
Accompanied by a choir,
Singing praises to doom,
The end of all we knew,
Yet out of isolation...
We the rot forlorn,
Were not but lost,
Only: renewed!
Thought in...
Great pain!

Thursday, March 26, 2020

I remember,
Wishing to be numb,
Unable to regret the bottom,
The greatest dead metaphor,
For the killing shape floor,
Silent fields of fulfillment, 
Where in lies our dreams,
Unable to come true...
Because we deemed,
Ourselves naught,
Not good enough,
To even attempt,
Accomplishing,
Any of... Of,
Them...!?!


Monday, March 23, 2020

Lock F*ck Down 1.0 (hope, shall we...?)

Play...
A piano,
Any voice,
Remember,
The sadness,
Prod all sorrow,
Rebirth a joy,
Out of dark,
Will you?
Will...
I...?

Saturday, March 21, 2020


In lieu...

Of; Whatever failed capacity of our shared humanity I have... Imperfectly shown myself to be, unto you, my shared existence family... I am so very, very apocalypse-self, sorry. For I am and never have been, anything or anyone; But a shell of an attempt at living. For(saken) as long as I can remember, and with my memory and awareness, that's a traumatically embraced long formidable time, ever set against my mental health.

Remember; Everyone. Every single arse-ended-idiot-one of us, has a story that lead us to this very self-perceptive 'shitty moment,' in time. Judge and respond not for what we are, what we could be... No respond to everyone as an unknown story, you've now been written into, yet to be told, until you... Repay shit with kindness, helplessness with hope, grumpy troll two-back-facedness with a smile that chooses to ignore all...

Mental ill-health, when un-reflected in lieu of... hope! Can make or allow habits, tendancies and actions from dark or even just shite thoughts, which harm the self and those around them (ourselves). Self-harm, with like... Knifes and swords and shit... Or hot pipes, fishing line and scolding hot water or maybe a false self image in the mirror, body-dismorphia; which leads to eating disorders of several types, which most of us don't know how to handle ourselves let alone our outlying fr(i)ends and kin.

You may become a thief, a liar, a scoundral unto others or maybe just youself! Stealing time from your own life's timeline to persist in a certain image only unto you're own false perfection in the mirror; A perfection projected onto you, to us... By others, not from wthin, at least not originally... But persisted by such projections and manifested in yet uncounted ways. We harm... And are subsequently judged by actions we're not wholly accountable for, for reasons the judges are wonton, unwilling and shan't ever understand, because to ask 'why,' instead of incriminate is uncomfortable.

For if someone asked you, with witness or without, 'why,' and you gave an uncomfortable mental long long, untold years, ill health truth unto those who questioned your toxic behaviour, whether simply unto yourself or to those around you... Silence, most probably, would befall them and subsequently any relationship betwixt. Whether professional/working or family/fr(i)end... For 'mental health,' is still not a 'real thing.'
We still get told to man/testosteron/dick vulva/pussy/ovary up... Probably not the later three...

This isn't to say anything about me or my story. Remember in these wierd times, your children, for we were all once children are children of someone, who possibly unwittingly 'helped' to embed any unsaid mental health issues within us, whether we acknowledge them or 'man the pussy fuck up' acknowledge or not... So don't discount how anyone harms themselves, in any capacity, learn each of our personal, however seemingly inhumane stories, and to love them... Which may take ages, but it is our responsibility to embody all that is'love,' upon others. Famity or not. Everyone is everyone. We're supposed to be, 'For Everyone.'

In lieu of...
Helping others,
In dire times!


Sunday, March 1, 2020

Naught...

Not any,

    Invisible one, Could (in)significant(ly) regression damned tell, The sleeve fairy bled heart out story of the most very solitary... They survived long beyond reflection.

In lieu of,
Them.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Revelations... I

I am,
The most, 
Remote ripple,
In forever,
That has,
Ever...

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Not one,

     Invisible vagrant written testaments in concrete imp panicked dignity orphaned tombs G-d ever gave a manipulated f-ck you or yours ever made earthly tangible manipulated fortunes!

In lieu of our automatic participation in...

Monday, January 27, 2020


If G-d...
If He saves,
He never did...
Never...
Once!

Friday, January 10, 2020


A ghastly visage,

     Unimaginative self vision, Mirror cured of illness, Am I... All but image, Invisibly mirror despair reflected scene of one always damned?!?

In lieu of my participation in,
Proving my future wrong.