Saturday, October 31, 2009

Abusive Bone

You all say I'll forever belong to the shadows
That I'll never see the lights of your heaven
Asphyxiate myself in depression do I not
For I will make the most of me hellbent self

Even though I'll never enter your heaven
I take up a collection to release their fears
3rd world anxiety for existence ignored
And yet here I sit stream down the tears

Images of what I don't need to see
I imbued mirrors into my bones
Do you ever ask yourself
Who you are or why you are here

Steal away abuse
Sit with worms in the cold earth
Instilling hope in darkness
That one day amongst our crushed bones
The darkness shall disapperate
So that we might choose to become

Worship the dead or what we own
Look at the worlds dying
Consider our comfort
But never how we are daily stealing
For our ever growing greed


I'll grant you what I gave was torment
Some will say I didn't try
But I'd rather not fight their words anymore
Their judgements come from ignorance
Which much greater condemnation lies in wait
For those who compromise to compare

Steal all my hope
So I become your villainous hero
A zero compared to renew a selfish quest
For your comfort to save yourself
You take away my future

Everyone has a tragedy
But I must wear mine on my sleeve
To remind all of my vile tattooed skin
Daily I breath in the silence that's so toxic to you

Steal all my hope
So I become your villainous hero
A zero compared to renew a selfish quest
For your comfort to save yourself
You take away my future

Drift away from me to save yourself
Crawl into a vault of denial
And cremate yourself alive
Welcome to the hell for my daily existence
I am a villainous symbol
Of a hidden hero

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A Creature I Call Home

Where darkness follows
I the creature seek into darkened depths
As it must be for the forbidden me
Where hidden I remain from the evil shadows I cast

Where once there existed arms of hope
Now reside there merely eyes tearing with sorrow
I am the demon I designed
A horror which cannot remain

Deeper I must self destructive descend
To where I must forever be
No gods from there could ever deliver me
Now I fall hopeless that it should ever end

A Moment of Hope

Many times I lost my path
What reasons without hope
Should ever a man go searching
I took another deep breath
Eyes closed and the dream once more took over

I know that I so often fall
But I should never give up
While continuing to surrender as I seek
For a faith gave up on me and the world around
I can't recall a hopeful day

So I took another deep breath
I looked around and the dream failed to take over
Knowing then that it was time I fall
I wandered into oblivion black with vision clear
As I gave up reaching for another moment longer

What Darkens

I seek the peace of darkness
Wrapped in a moment of self denial
Saw a glimpse of a past I cannot know
In a second I wondered about a long while
In a coma I lingered in a forgotten life

Returned to the hell that is
Where all the doors close
And all my blue skies darken
A burden born treated as a child

Live along in your precious light
Hope in a future from you does not hide
I fucked up my life when I was a child
My views were altered like a disease
Where the soul is of the uttmost importance

I speak the lack of will into the air
And I know that indeed it is heard nowhere
I seek the path to where dark skies brighten
Sad that no glimpse in thirty years have I seen

So goodnight, goodnight
Onward seeking the path to everything in nowhere

The Human Calculation

The Human Calculation
Soldier exist as percentages
Of calculations of earnings blown so wide
No recover of cost could ever be made

Trampled forever my feet became
Before I ever started marching
So my hands took to verbal fist mumbling
Does the vision of equality swallow you

If you can't see what I'm standing for
Just look around you at our world in decay
Equality universal hidden ever remains

An ocean of cost from an epic transaction reside
In an economy where the middle class is dying
Soon a 3rd world shelter our society shall be

From my expert human cost calculations
We'll all be dead before any debt is recalled
A new system crafted to kill the banks
Monitary profit over percentage at any cost

I don't know bout you
But I won't consider bail out
For a bankrupt corporation
That spreads death like its free
Renewing pacts with government like its going out of style
While they allow this system to in our society reside

I tried dreads but moved on to a promise
That hidden inside of us equality must exist
We all feel its subliminal vibrations towards sibblings
Like blood is worth more than the children dying
That on the TV daily we watch while in our hearts
We claim denial it exists saying we never saw it

I fucking feel like I'm car sick
Should I turn the gun on myself
Or the system that devours us like a disease
The unforgettable sound of presentation of arms
Towards the fate of one who gave his life
For a system of equality that he never even saw
Its so confusing the lie and denial of profit
To the horrible coverups of stories of life costs

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I the Serpent

I am a serpent
Slithering hollow shelled carcus
In an ever shedding cucoon skin
I wonder silently seeking and alone

I fell into a chasm
An eclipse of the sense
Stealing all hopes of being happy
I dialogue a journal before the end
As I already know I'll never make it out

Buried it in my head
In the darkness of every lonely night
I lay down with oblivion once again
Nothing anyone has said has woke me up

I exist between margins
My eyes ever shift and change
Morally sound I sleep soundly tonight
But I'm evil forever bound to my skin
So continue to nail my serpent flesh to the post
I know I never will or had a home

Friday, October 23, 2009


I glorify the unseen
By means of an eternally hidden denied
For the rythem of equality shall I die
But in doing so walk alone into depths where evil abides
Confronted by an edge so fine I cannot decide

Subjected Satan spawn to Lucifer shall I return
For a God would never allow the creation of one like me
Judged so completely sent alone into the realms of hell
Solitude broken by the evil one's greeting smile

For my dream's sake they stole my sun
No hope for a future alone I'm shunned
But I'm okay with existing in the darkness of midnight's arms
Her eyes shall ever abide my smile reflecting its image
I purchase her gaze with a faith with a negative hope balance outstanding
Soul struck by flavours of what I should never find

Creep me into a violet greenhouse
Where I've been forever exiled like a disease
She the darkness lights my path with moonlit eyes
In this place I shall never find what I have ever desired

May your distance from my hurt be fulfilled forever
Grasp onto comfort as if you were lucky bearing such a smile
May your days be eternally filled with inner slumber
Bear forth no burden of consciousness for its discomfort
May you never be pillaged by the knowledge of who I really am
Indeed go forth into a dream state once again

Subjected Satan spawn to Lucifer shall I go
For out from evil shall the dust of self return
For a God would never allow the creation of one like me
Judged so completely sent alone into the realms of hell
Solitude broken by the evil one's greeting smile

While I sleep alone in the dirt like a peaceful child
Seeking along the path to nowhere
A place my soul shall forever be fulfilled within
Its not physical but a state in a hidden time
When the children of men shall throw away their price
To the current structure of acceptance shall we forever say goodnight

Destroy our mental images of a version of self that can't exist
Acceptance isn't held without but starts from defying the within
Deny the statements of broken labels that exist
Start afresh purchasing no assocations to save your life
Start down the path that leads to every & nowhere

Subjected Satan spawn to Lucifer shall I implore
Oh evil one for my soul end all wars
Let the peace of an eternal darkening day be discovered
Speek the words that lead mankind to a path going somewhere
I breath into the open sky I lay down my life for equalities incoming tide

A Grave Moment

To rejoice in this world
As sin of which I cannot repent
If I were like you the serpent spawn
I'd change the vision of self in my plans
Greed is the glimpse of hell as it passes

Fuck, realize the less you greed for
The less at the end you'll hate yourself for
This is the truth of the absolute mirror
The image of self found at the end of time

I plunged into darkness as I stomp out my own eyes
Don't come looking for me, you'll find me in a grave
I gave myself up to open acceptance
I judge no one by their skin hating tone of voice
This is myself given up to my final vow

Remember these words when your time is coming
Your inner consciounse will spite you as you've judged others
When your left alone in heaven's mansions
Or in solitude before a vacant thrown
Your eyes cannot see a God who knows you not
By your own measures you've awakened too late
Now into hell shall you sink forever without a trace

A world of consolation prizes
The top award picked before the race began
This is the monetary system rewarding its own greed
Endorcements dual fold fulfill their crime
Pride fill the winner
And publicity for her supplier

I'm plunged into darkness as I stomp out my eyes
Don't come looking for me, you'll find me in a grave
I found peace in a realm of acceptance I should never regret
Finding no one like me drove me into my blindness of plot
Two fold images of no sight and a grave now you see
Being me is for me alone
Go on your own path empowered by equality to be free

Thursday, October 22, 2009


If only you would smile
Maybe I'd stay for a while
But I can't see what you won't betray
I don't have time to adventure so close
So come out and show yourself
Show us who you are
Be yourself one and if ever again!

As we wait side by side
Your breath reveals no love
For it hides the smile of no hope
Set you up for a man who can shine through
The shit you've been shoved into

So wake up thy eyes
To the skies look no more
Stop waiting for a sign
Deliver yourself into his arms
Betray yourself to his soul
Stop waiting for miracle that might never show
Come close and show us who you are

So me, yeah I stopped noticing myself
I know me by my betrayal while not waiting
A mirror tells me nothing but a magazine's lies
I bought into a visual acceptance we can't maintain
Images of the profane spread across our walls

If only you would smile
Maybe I'd stay for a while
But I can't see what you won't betray
I don't have time to adventure so close
So come out and show yourself
Show us who you are
Be yourself one and if ever again!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Just like you

Its just like you all
To leave me messages, texts or emails
Well just leave me the fuck alone
I don't want your orders or condemnation

I'm not like you, comfortable hearts spoiled rotten
Your searching for nothing other than its remedy
Why don't you get it its the same God that hurts for them
When they die your comfort isn't disturbed
Well here it goes I know theres more to our God than this
Comfort is ignorance and in this your hearts slumber in bliss

Fuck your orders
Take away your words of judgement
Let me alone I seek the knowledge of love
So others beyond myself will come to know
That equality universal is not beyond our grasp
Even if you think such a dream is just made up

A family like a tribunal judging me
For a transation they never saw
Caring nothing but for themselves
Not for my soul or equality

I've marked myself for death oh the fuck well
I guess to hell I'm bound with this black dot on my back
Divorce is a path your never going to know
Just like the commandment for selling everthing you own
Wake up to self-consciousness quit your judgements
Or wake up one day in the gray fires of the dead

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I Release

I release you
Soon God shall change my name
All past association will fade as I die
Either I wasn't a Christian and evil was in my eyes
Or I've willingly sinned to leave thus destroying my own life
Either way, go on justified to love once again

I release you to what I'll never find
To which I've already gave up searching
So I'll just rest my head here now before I go
There aren't any step for me to follow home
I shall just meander on alone

I release you
Your true love will find you justified before your sun goes down
A new life in love shall come to find you
While I pass on through more black doors
I must find the reasons why
I could never stand tall or was devoid of hope

Don't regress or go into hiding
Love is a wonder to a handsome man don't deny
Behind the winter lies a man for you
Who forever will stand upright and tall

Hatred has claimed me
While you were near it wouldn't fade away
My life feet seek now to depart
From a past that torments my heart and mind
I can't foretell, I'm not that clever

So I step forward into the cold
And as the winter wraps around I know I shall soon die
But it is not death that I fear
Its your heart not knowing your released to find him
Don't hide yourself behind closed doors
Or wrap yourself in a lie you are justified
Your voice by heaven shall still be heard

Either bound to hell am I from a past that cannot hide
Or God really is that lovingly blind
Either way don't walk on in fear as I do
I release you

I'll tell you imagine this while you close your eyes
The damaged I caused, unto myself was worth it all
I release you to open your eyes
So go find him and with all your love dive right in
Righteous is the path where your future love lies
An eternity you know not yet nor could ever fathom
Don't look back with regrets erase memories of me
Just imagine the amazing arms of loves future adventures

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Fat Fingers

Fat fingers feed the rich
While the number of starving ever grow
We complete the circle of ignorance
Claiming the God's love swallows the sins of which we do not know
But our fingers and eyes told us what to choose and where to go
Ignorance is bliss, and a baby Christian is mortally stricken
Turned off by their selfish behavior disgusted completely

Not even a fifty fifty chance of saving
No thought to flip a coin to stop their pain
Some God we believe in can save them
As we sit at this table and choose what to eat

What a sweet thought is this dream
That as we exist here God saves us in our daily gluttony
A falsehood only revealed upon death is our destiny

We give more thought to the unborn dying
Than the numbers of children who die ever so slow
Who do we thank but a God whose name we've forgotten or never did we know
But hey we've got a thought of Him and a golden heavenly dream

Whats the fucking point
We say God can stop the drowning rain
But for the aftermath we donate rations at an all time low
Inside you'll never realize but someday you'll know
As you depart this world you'll see
The unfortunate truth of your self defeat
Knowing then that hell, in selfishness always was your choice

No the angels didn't walk away
You gave into a more comfortable existence
Than fighting for equality or anything of meaning
You gave up even on your most simple of dreams
How could a God be interested if you wallow
Unknowingly in self defeat

We call them the lesser or unfortunate
As if God could alter society's lustful growing greed
We exist for self medication while they can't even eat
Our handsome mirror images we care more for
While angels dismiss our worrying for their torments and pain
They watch the children die on the street
While we search our skin for imperfections daily

Too Much

You say I've seen too much
Well I know you haven't seen enough
No one's tears should be hidden by your locked doors
Driving me to shame won't keep this together

Well one day we fled
In opposite directions
I derailed stage flight to the left
And into lust you fell in

I walk a road harder than you could have ever wished
But it pleases me to exist free to tell the truth
Like this I raise my middle finger to your ultimatums
All your wishes like miracles can't keep us together

Well one day we fled
In opposite directions
I derailed stage flight to the left
And into lust you fell in

I see the family outside my window
Begging me to exist as their hearts adore
You can't hold my hand to guide me
Nor fathom the depths of lie I fell in
But no one should ever live under a force to exist

Fathers and mothers know that your sons and daughters
Might live a path harder than the one you did take
Our decisions are not forced but your wisdom lacking was your greatest abuse