Thursday, April 30, 2009

Look into Yesterday, Heed the Message

Its not some grand master plan
But a vision of hope second to none
Embed deep inside us each and everyone
I won't torture myself tonight and deny
The mystery within my heart with my head

The uncharted waters of our hearts
A map of free will to love or absorb the world
How long before we look around and heed the message
How many days of slumber before we heed the message
(before a massacre of yesterday cometh)

Its not my death in tomorrow I fear
But the mountain of negligence we've uncovered
Moved only hand fulls from our heart away
The massive landfill of not build in one yesterday

Shift through the economic shit
My bloody hands pulled out polluted unmapped pile
I never realized our desires for comfort were so overkill
From the choices of yesterday we foresee the outcome

The uncharted waters of our hearts
A map of free will to love or absorb the world
How long before we look around and heed the message
How many days of slumber before we heed the message
(before a massacre of yesterday cometh)

This isn't a battle humanity can take for much more
I implore you on my knees begging for the rest of my life
Look into my eyes and know your denial is killing me
Sometimes I wish I could be someone else
But if I were who would blow into the winds of change
I'll stand here wishing for unity beyond our front doors

Monday, April 27, 2009

God's Code of Honor

With the disgrace that I am
I wash my hands clean of your God
Your vision of His acceptance is just too keen
It burns His code of honor and you never turned back
People walk through your doors
And leave wishing they could die now

Because they didn't meet your external status
You forgot that even a shattered life is sacred
That even the most filthy child is heaven sent
But because of your lack of internal acceptance
They desire to deliver their lives up unto the ocean

So dream on of outward beauty
Place in it all your security
God will shake your every wish
Until you die or choose to love freely

I look at the church
The vast image throughout time
And wish this day I could die
We ruined the greatest code of honor
And I know unless united as one creation
We can never hope to get it back

If this is how your God thinks
Go on spreading your damnation
I'd rather die than conform in order to exist
Amongst a congregation of those already dead

How did you all forget the most awesome fact
Everything that hath breath is sacred
You ignorant fuckers ruined God's code of honor
Never shall your hearts return to love! No turning back
Rummage now and forever within your hearts of death

Fuck your so called Christian version of acceptance
Its not from your internal or heart senses
But built on the external viewing of mental preferences
Remember God's chosen are all the living
So stop rummaging around in circles so dead set

Even God changed upon Christ's death
Acknowledge a skeptical mind of choice
And choose to change or rummage forever away
Living forever in an internal hell until everlasting death

I look at the church
The vast image throughout time
And wish I could die this day
We ruined the greatest code of honor
And I know unless united as one creation
We can never hope to get it back

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Battle

Describe me with verbal declarations
Labeling me by all my past demons
It is the future I fight not a reputation battle
I'll walk alone every night right past your good intentions

I dare you, bring back the gallows
Its alright, for me no one will bathe in sorrow
I've got words, but I'm no messenger
Like Jesus Christ I saw this afar off coming

When its all taken away
Stair into the crystal ball of your own mind
Who or what is worth walking blindly for
Starve the children pay off a bit more debt
I ask you to come out of hiding and dream with me
The damage we're causing its not worth this
The price we pay for comfortability

With my death your mind relapses
Comfort found in hollow reputation based acceptance
I gave up that mentality for a vision of earth
You say there is no greater purpose
But inside you desired this dream every day
Until one day you moved on, as they say 'grew up'

When its all taken away
Stair into the crystal ball of your own mind
Who or what is worth walking blindly for
Starve the children pay off a bit more debt
I ask you to come out of hiding and dream with me
The damage we're causing its not worth this
The price we pay for comfortability

Bring back hope of a furnished condo in a high rise
View a tragic city even death himself wouldn't compromise
Let them believe in their good intentions
They'll stand before the gates of hell soon enough
Its like finding out your destiny is linked to a horrible last breath
That wakes you up to something beyond yourself(ish) justifications

Monday, April 13, 2009

Tonight I was

Tonight I saw the dress and makeup you put on
Hidden in your massive wished up salon
But you'll never see how my eyes do
No matter the fancy you adorn
When you touch me I feel as a whore

Only I'm pimping myself out
So this evil trip can slide continue
Wanna fuck me for all eternity
Allowing this false illusion breaks me down
Soon I'll be your naked dancing clown

God allow me to forever close my eyes
And while the world passes by stop my breathing
I'm done competing for my own path with the blind
Its the only ending for my life they might find resolve
Or maybe just one will tear through the pain to find
Who I really was, and this shit the rest put me through

Tonight I feel like a whore
Like every time you touched me a whore
All internal issues ignored for labels
'your too fucked up, go on choose the easy way'
And with these words you compound the hurt

To your descent comfort life you leave
Avoid a confrontation of truth with me
I'm left standing with judging words
As if no ones ever left me as you did anyways
I walk on completely ignored for my other half's hurts
Expect me to do this forever while you all rape my love dry
Just shut up all of you your words aren't helping me

If you can't just say you love me no matter what comes to be
Then consider the past the shit you put me through for a start
You compound the issues you ignore while inside I harbor
Once I tried to confront you all but I got a middle finger
And the first judging words that my birth started it all
So I was never meant to be, I'm an infant gesture of accident
God come claim this life so I can be free from the self medicated From those seeking comfort to remain sleeping messaging, calling, and fingering me

Family ignores issues they won't see as true
Comfort opens more my complexity of wounds
Its so true to me, they want me to break away
I've created scares they can't carry
But what of me, unacknowledged in the frey

Saturday, April 11, 2009

What Rage in Regret

I'm sorry but I'm no longer afraid
So here it goes I'll say it to one and all
No regret can ever force their way in
So I'll raise the mic shout it loud and walk away

Not afraid of what you'll say
Let me walk my own path
To find my own price I'll pay

I only need the love of one
I know now that's all I'll ever get
The rest spoke their judgments and looked away
Now like a sidewalk beggar they pass me by

Some day they'll look back at me
Wondering if the damage they embraced
To fulfill a submission clause was worth it all
The possibility remembered how it tore me
Then all of us apart

Not afraid of what you'll say
Let me walk my own path
You never said you'd love me
No matter the price of the path I might pay
Orchestrate my submission in deceiving ways
I'm only half a point above clever
But I recognize your lack of love to be neglect
From you I've never known the tastes of love
Only the fruit of possibilities of oncoming regrets

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Death of Humanity(Death of Love)

When I think of you my old friends
I remember the words I've heard so many times
Lies now I can see, are hidden not between
But amidst manipulations of the truth in lines
Scripture passages voted for by power hungry men

Come out of hiding
Do you even believe in faith
Those that matter are out there dying in this mess
There those like me unashamed to think
And possible to follow what they believe
Is it love, some kind of equality?

Close your eyes and life passes you by
Was it yours or a starving child
Unfed too one last time by slavery
They do it for our comfort only to disappear
Into death, genocide or raped over and over again

Their death comes about by our choice
I can't believe for 25 years I was a part of this society
I look back in shame and disgrace
Dishonored by my father's sexual appetite
A curse upon me to forever appeal for equality's rights

If this is what life tastes like
Long ago I should have dove right in
I've never known love, but by wisdom I might give
And then I noticed you've never seen a love like this
Totally eclipsed by unmentionable terrors
Yet pronounced free by working through
The unmentionable evil, hidden behind evil intent

A mentality of selfish gluttonous lust
I've known I must, thrown off the curse
Now old memories of remembered friends
See my picture and read between my 3 fingered lines
That's what happens when you only lift yourself up
From my wounds you all always walked away
Walk an easy path justifies your current course

You never noticed the damage you caused
When you turned to run the other way
Go on embracing your selfish comfort Christianity
Hearts remaining still, in personal bubbles
Don't ever leave them no matter what the cost
But God will force you, when a loved one is lost

But once again your teeth will suckle the pill
A lust for comfort beats out the powers of God
Free will a method that must always be
So while you wish away the pain
I open my mind and grieve
For the lose of a free will quality
The death of humanity

Come out of hiding you fuckers
Don't be afraid of the shame forecast
Nor the damage to self that comes
It will bring new realms of mobility
Grandeur of caring today that are never seen
Or lie there now denying every word
And embrace the death of your humanity

hierarchy Christianity (Unashamed)

Its the same its always been
Captured by hierarchy unquestioned
Cultivated by Catholic Traditions
Held under manipulations of some kind of greed
Comfort, weakness, comparison and labels
All associated with a lie they termed needs

But this is the not path
Christ gave his life for a new morality
Not some hell bound ceremony
Its time to open closed oblivion lead eyes

This is a real taste of what life is like
You hate me now and those at my feet
But their not bowing their screaming
Against your mentality of the Cross
Wherein our new love has been found

Our mobility is deprived by structure
Built without the consideration variable textures
From what they know not, are they afraid
The damaged its caused by the ancient slave ways
Can it be undone was it worth it all

But this is the not path we should seek
Those termed saints died for a dying whisper
An unhindered every changing equality
Bound up in morality for us to choose

For too long we've read only the unchallenging lines
Passages easily manipulated by comfort and time
Its not away from you I walk but into your hallways
No tail between my legs like a dog I run forward with all that I am
Fuck regret, its time to recognize change and move on

This is the truth hidden behind your label 'revival fire'
God move amongst you, choose to move first
His fists of discipline I've learned the hard way
This is a warning, now is not the time to close your eyes
The damage you cause to loved ones and yourself
Is beyond measure with each passing day
That you dream of treasures in heaven
But on earth move not a muscle in an equally caring way

Walk the path that's meant to be
Fuck the selfish comparison to the rich dreams
God meant you to give up your very life
The least you could do, is sweat a little
Or pick up a pen and write...