Dying,

    Silent and unread...

In lieu,
Not long,
Now...

Finality definition,

    All can sparkle, Hope's most invalued contagion must, (but all viruses) Thrive amongst the threat of our dire admittance to the be afterlife accepted die... We're beyond any-everything responsible to inspire, Despite an imbued shame, which is the most honest crime!

In lieu of our attendance,
In watching the world burn...
Listening to the sirens...
Pretending it will...
All pass away...!

Ever Fallible... IX

Inexcusable legends,

    Vocalized gasp mouth escaping vicious ambition twisted selfish sell anything mischief stumbling, Falsely towards the scalping paid for rumbling voice of indoctrinated fucked everyone without being labelled rich and dangerous: Ignored and laughing!

In lieu of,
Empathy existing,
As a paraplegic...
Under thumb of,
Inept ruling(s)!

Ever Fallible... VIII

Inexcusably calm,

    Vicious mischief ambition choke, False unminded fucked tick to time's derelict tock, Rumbling voices drone as invisible piano unheard ghosts, Everything the magnitude of delinquent preset timely perfected unmatterable of phantom facts we chain oblivion drunken smoked stared into oblivion's unthinking meme reflected anything sad mirror to ignore!

In lieu of,
Only looking,
Backwards to regret,
EVERYTHING BUT,
All the drives of greed...
Murder the drink consumption,
Of our indoctrinated inheritance,
Striving for all that is... Money!
All presence be, In hopes of...
Unto the death of class,
The unspeaking preset,
All that is monetary!

Ever Fallible... VII

Inexcusable death,

    A viciously delinquent independent willing hatred calm inherited prejudice, Scoundrel induced hunger for the murder of any map to equality's any century victory, How rare... How special... Is the capacity to act on empathy!

In lieu of,
Ape shit!

Ever Fallible... VI

Inexcusable (Bastard bank of hope) legends,

    Viciously mischief twisted ambitions, Falsely rumbling voices of unstable hope's a crying in the corner vapor escaping faith under foot of paid villains we self kaleidoscope hoopla lobotomy ignored, Halleluh brilliant adopted child of or language, Exchanging the unbreakable adaptation of our inner forever inherit unspoken mapped dialogue of empathy!

In lieu of,
Watching victory,
The all greedy end,
Deservedly baptized die!

Ever Fallible... V

Inexcusable hate,

      Packaged in every altercation as justified inheritance; Prejudice is an indoctrinated program of intolerance, Breaching our faith in any future for a dying requiem in hell past.

In lieu of,
Uneducating,
Our (in)humanity,
Of inequalities!

Ever Fallible... IV

Inexcusable,

     Torment inherited hope advice we ignored!

In lieu of,
A packaged deal...

Ever Fallible... III

Inexcusable A-one level's,

     Subject we false tormented with inherited most basic adaptations of hope advised to and did perpetuate, Games unto which we criminalized empathy; Ignoring our most basic purpose in lieu of the arenas of inescapable and unending death to love we're so willing as scoundrels sleeve bearing hidden aces instead of bleeding unto death's mysterious hearths we're now eternally undeserving!

In lieu of,
Murdering the purpose,
Of hope in our existence!

Ever Fallible... II

Inherited calm,

Conned lineage eventual collapse, Founded by wicked spells undoubtedly hatred passed everything external on cast, Wherein lies… The lies of any cruel ending!

In lieu of our participation in,

Stopping the beliefs in an ending,

To the internal conflict wars…!

Ever Fallible... I

Inherited ending,

     All spitefulness wrought our ever so willingly adopted prejudice’s ruin!

In lieu of,

Unwriting…

Said fin!

Perceiving Falsely... II

Problematic,

Death screaming silenced drop violent tones of prejudice’s descent into our inherited perfect money green induced dollar madness, Scheme of our finite ongoing everything!

In lieu of,
Watching the play,

But not participating,

Unless it’s in line,

With our hatred,

We’re so far,

Delinquent!

Way Ward I

Inevitable,

     All ending ambiance, Requiem finality foretold sequence of inhumane events at the culmination to our happiness, We all knew and denied the deadliest fact(s) of our lives, That our ending, was our own to change... But we barely, If ever at a time, Did anything!

In lieu of,

Participating

Venomous... I

Ambient poisonous,

      Invisible head derelict of hope garage space full of self garbage worth thoughts, Where the well at the world's daily sought journey's end is always affliction accomplished!

In lieu of...

Any mirror ever,

Reflecting worth...

Problem,

Our malignant inexcusably vicious chaotic allied mischievous ambitions without thought for it’s necessary conditions!

In lieu of our,

Non-bereavement

Perceiving Falsely... IV

Prejudicial rendering,

     Task of Unconditioning our inherited subconscious’ nearly inner white toxic blind masculinity eye, privileged sight looks with atrocious inferred predictions of down looking deficiency sight, iron formidably deformed their accomplishments reinforce inhumanity’s greatest ignored visible dark!

In lieu of our participation,

Of Unwriting the past…

The dead advice,

Of inequality! 

Perceiving Falsely... III

Problematic prejudice,

Our everlasting inherited hatred ambitions, Allied with the triple presidentially upheld outlook on life K(KK) definition of a free Murica, chronic benign defining itself on everything opposite of humble due to a white privileged noose to any tree they choose around the house of our bastard conformity to insanity’s most fatefully endorsed unstably dangerous horrors, The root directory is racist!

In lieu of,

Not asking to;

Stand and defy!

Isolate III

Self reduced isolated,

    Behaviorally cognitive forlorn distant... A hope avoidable dissonance! Pornographically naked positive reverie expectation class assumption inhaled!

In lieu of our participation in,
The fortunes of others,
The fortunes of all...
Did you know...?!?

Isolate II

Isolate lonely situated,

    Alone procedural cognitive forlorn discomforted balance dissonance, Imaginary vernacular disabled remotest poetic irrelevant; A selfish behavioral forlorn void.

In lieu of,
Asking the mirror,
Why we exist...?! 

Isolate I

Isolated,

    Cognitive forlorn dissonance, We're alone existing...

In lieu,
Of concern?

Perceiving Falsely...

Prejudice,

is a hell our conscience can’t escape!

In lieu of…

Unconditioning!

Counting on Nothing III

COVICTIONLESS,

      INNER STABLE DEAD HOPE MONOLOGUE GHOSTLY WHITE BLIND EYE, birth indoctrinated opinions of our derelict symptomatic nurturing the apocalypse unadjustable attitude of defiance unto equality.  

In lieu of,

Our realignment!

Counting on Nothing II

Convictions,

      Wrought from our inner Lingering prototypic one fate asymmetrical sided hope ghost empathy crooked dead eyes of our disproportionate callous inhumanity dreams of living above consequence for our most harlequin marionette nurtured uninvolved in reality; thought crimes!

In lieu of,

Discovering,

Only to defy!

Counting on Nothing I

ITCHY Convictionless,

     Inner LONG DEAD ONE INHERIT SIDED LANDSCAPE monologue eYE, BARING NO PROTEST TO THE DERIVED SUCCESSIVE NONE AGGRESSIVE BUT HOSTILE undecorated INTENTIONS OF OUR SHARED (IN)HUMANITY!

In lieu of,

Conquering! 

Life II

Life,

     A death march for every breath, towards a flickering all too requiem soon chalk fatefully outlined, Until dead resides the most remote hope within the ghost inside's hope, make every forlorn attempt to muster faith up, A smile for the one in the mirror, for soon this storm of a story too shall end.

In lieu of,

Continued,

To gasping!

Life I

LIFE,,,

  A DEATH MARCH,

UNTIL THE BITTER END,

WALK HEAD UPLIFTED HIGH,

UNTIL DEAD RESIDES,

THE GHOST INSIDE...

IN LIEU OF,

CONTINUING,

TO GASP!

VAMPIRIC EMPATHY, 

   SCATHE HIDEOUS CORPSE LIKE SUNKEN CHALK BITE OUTLINED DEAD INSIGHT ATTENTION eyes, LEAVING THE PATHETIC SOFTLY UNSPOKEN PREY-ER RECIPIENT IN THE MIRROR UNCONSCIOUS, INHUMAN(E) SOLIDARITY THE ONLY UNLOCKED FEATURED EMOTION EVER CHOSEN, INTERRUPTED CONSCIENCE DEFICIT UNTO THE DEBT OF EMPOWERED TENSIONS; WOUNDS WE OURSELVES CREATED TO GARNISH ALL THE STRESS OF LIVING WITHOUT COMPASSION, REVERT DENY INSTINCTS OF THE FITTEST FLOUNDERING FOR SURVIVAL, DISGUSTING CORRUPTED VILLAINS TOPPLING THE UNARCHIVED LIVES OF THE PUBLIC, 

IN LIEU OF OUR PARTICIPATION,
RECORDING BUT NOT RESPONDING!

EMPATHY, 

     ATTENTION CHOSEN UNCONSCIENCE DEFICIT UNTO THE DEBT OF our TENSIONS; FOR ALL THESE WOUNDS WE OURSELVES CREATED...

IN LIEU OF OUR PARTICIPATION IN,
MAPPING OUR WAY OUT OF RACISM,
INHERITED UNINTENTIONALLY,
PERSON BY INFINITE PERSON,
WE'RE ALL EQUAL AND WE...
WE ALL WILL CONTINUE,
IN HOPES; TO EXIST!

Remastered legacy insurance, 

      Unredeemable distorted portion disproportionate angelic fall horded dust out! Corporate untaxable beings we're flexing our every hope to over position take in the hire higher HIGH we're to think hope is anything... but... Capitalism and democracy...


In lieu of,
CHANGE!!! 
vX

While 'We' Still Draw Breath...

...

One,

Last,

Song,

Malady,

Blindness,

Dead voices,

Sadness sung,

A furlough of hope,

Encompassing the dying,

Chameleon camouflaged faith,

In-humanity we're wanton to keep,

Never anyone to fight but we...

Ourselves in the mirror be,

But tangents; withering,

Absorbed slithering,

Lost in the mire...

Beside the well,

At the world's:

Ending...

She,

...

Sister... IV

Sibling,

      You're the best influence of my insecurities ever told beyond the shared scars upon our skin, Selfishly honest we inflicted strange wounds, until... Tragedy or naught.

In lieu of...
Holding you again.

Sister II

Family...

    I glow for the best parts in you, Breathing a congested tragedy cough eternally, Desperately hidden, Aching behind an honest smile... Though oft sarcastic!

In lieu of our reunion,
Unto all others,
Begin to pay,
Attention...

Sister...

You're...

    You are the best smile I ever created... Wrought upon the face of the best version of family I never had, Written upon your brow when we're together is the most infinite delighted look ever fashioned, Without whomever you've become I'd rarely fathom just how capable of dancing through the dangers of every second of the future coming to be...!?!

In lieu of our participation,

Within or without...

But ever smiling!

I love you.

Never and Always:

Change.

Dear G-d...

No mythical one,

     Invisible lethargic force or compassion vagrant false diluted testimony harbinger entity ever wrote testaments on our dreamer's concrete imp idol panicked less than average fringe impressionable dignity orphaned lethargic hope lineage; Tomb of the forlorn energy: G-d who wrote all from dust never gave a manipulated f-ck you or yours ever made earthly souvenir tangible no jungle reprieve for slavery's endless treatment; Fortunes! Exist only for the operatives of self jealousy, Those who repel hope!

In lieu of,

Killing dreams...

Naught VI

No silent anomaly one,

     Ever invisible vagrant written testaments of mansplaining dicks pissing pathetic puss filled zit exploding psalm themes of falsified hope into concrete, As imps panicked selling off their since birth orphaned dignity into Holocaust denial twitching purpose thought non-angelic nervous tombs where their habitually male manifested dead compassion forever disrespected G-d of the forlorn suffering never once pretended to marauder give a savage or simple minded pathetic manipulated f-ck they, you or yours ever made an earthly tangible enemy of eternity if ever... manipulated fortunes!

In lieu of our participation in...

Calculating our own ending!

Naught V

No arbitrary one,

     Of: invisible derelict hopeless as a vagrant's written harbinger testaments in tomb concrete ever imp under devil's foot forever panicked falsified undead compassion dignity born orphaned belief in She, Always labelled He... G-d who (n)ever gave a manipulated faithless f-ck you or yours ever struggled a moment to make an earthly tangible diluted by slavery... Penny, Pence or any other money!

In lieu of our participation in...
Not participating...

Naught IV

No...

    Solidarity one, Ever half significant derelict of compassion gave a grounded from flying ever, fuck! 

In lieu of our participation in,
Standing numb by...

Naught III

No solitary one,

     Ever half insignificantly compassion bled heart on the sleeve out a damn... About anyone other than their fairy-shit-tale reflection.

In lieu of our continued,
Participation...!?!

Naught II

Not any,

    Invisible one, Could (in)significant(ly) regression damned tell, The sleeve fairy bled heart out story of the most very solitary... They survived long beyond reflection.

In lieu of,
Them.

Personally Impersonal!

Good f*cking morning; Glasgow!

     So our household received it's first finances since the lock down started. When it all went down it was kinda a blur, I think I got sacked... By the former owner, but still have a job to go back to with the new owner when the lock down ends... Pretty sure I'm not entirely sure, about anything just now... One day, one smile at a time. For now I am an ex-hospitality manager turned 'professional gamer.'

     As I said, I'm a totes Professional Scottish Video Game Player and Social Media 'douche-influencer,' the seventh most renowned poet in Scotland; EVER and also the most fashionable person to exist. While I'm the best at most everything, including being the homes event coordinator, which includes slotting myself in in the role of cook and cleaner, my partner works in as a freelancer in the TV and Film Industry, which has taken a beyond massive hit just now. And I mean for the people who work in it, not only just that shows and movies peeps want to see are getting delayed.

    So this income we got, which was pretty awesome, came from Screen Scotland, which sits within Creative Scotland that supports filming in Scotland and the Staff who help to craft the films and television shows lots of us in the UK and beyond like to watch. It was a 'Bridging the Gap' support fund we applied for and only just received the email about last night, which was amazeballs.

    The cafe I was running, as you might have gathered was in between being purchased from a hobby owner to someone who wanted to grow the business and cared about the staff who managed the shop on his would be behalf. The old owner didn't pay us right or on time... Or even give us pay slips so even if we were employed by him on or before the 28th of February it would be hard to both prove and show just how much we got paid in order to get any sort of stupid 80% no ones got yet from the stumbling f*cktards we currently call a government.

     On top of that we were also paid in cash without a trace to HMRC a few weeks leading up to any sort of said sale of the business, which no one is sure has even happened yet... At least we didn't get proper sacked like the G1 staff or Weathersporks staff. Sad times for so many of us! So yeah, on top of all that my partner who is said to be a freelancer, but is also PAYE for some gigs because it all just depends on how the filming's productions write up their contracts for each individual for every department. Costume, set, production, locations, art dorkpartment and all the jazz I've forgotten to mention, as I work in a totally shite industry! I mean separate industry... Yes, separate... That's what I meant.

     Anyways... So when the email about the funding came through my partner, a legendary villain in this crime of a life, had just started a live drawing class online, she did see an email had come through but put it off until after the class was done and after we had eaten dinner, which was a double vat of chili! One spicy with sweet corn and the other rich and moreish with chocolate and coffee! She was nearly in tears when she opened the email, that someone out there was validating her, her industry, people working in her industry in Scotland just overwhelmed her with hope and confidence!

     Because... Just like me, her confidence was knocked, not having worked since December, which is normal for her as she takes a gap to recuperate and her industry is quiet in January and February with work normally starting up again in film and tv in Scotland end of March or Aprilish... Ish...  She was really hoping to be working by now and had the fear that her industry would just not open ever... again! Not a logical thought, but these are not very logical times as anyone can see. A government bailing out big multinational business, that may or may not even pay tax in our country, whilst the tax payers get closer and closer to beyond broke each day. Some people even going into over draft or taking out a loan to pay bills or by food... OUCH!    

     Any who... I had also had my confidence ruined the past few years from various jobs that I had taken that didn't turn out to be the jobs I thought they would be or just not fitting in to well into them. On top of that I suffer from mental illness, one I've had on board the brain since I was a teenager, but only discovered and started to treat when I was 29 years of ANCIENT! God that was like ages ago, so old now...

    This mental ill health that I've written poems about and what naughts takes a weird shape within the psychology of the self, ruining confidence, allowing the self to justify bad behaviour, destroy my own body to the point someone said I looked as gaunt thin as a holocaust victim, which is absolutely true! Though I still didn't see myself as thin enough, in the mirror or on the scale. Anyways, that's enough about me. We've got a touche of hope in our household.

I've never used my ill health or how it affects me to justify my stupidity, in fact I've nearly always tried to overcompensate with positivity and a good work ethic, to support those around me rather than be in a foul mood about myself wherever I might find myself in the world. But I wasn't very good at being a good person, only good at hiding the sh*te I always was. Sharing my wounds and hopes via poetry, nearly two and a half thousand wee trinkets I've posted over the years, mostly invisible which is totally okay. Yeah, but I hope some day they matter to someone out there, helping them and possible others as well through sh*t they're suffering or hoping to overcome like me, even if they don't feel a good person, they might just be...

     Remember others! We've all got our very own story at how we arrived into this very moment we're interacting with one another, face to face, online or over the phone, whatever...! So have a little patience and alot of empathy for one another. No matter the age of someone from tween to ancient, our stories are all so very our own and the histories we carry could be good or terrible! Beyond rubbish even! What's more, we don't know where eachothers minds are in the moment, someone might be downcast for mental ill health due to a recent death in the family, which is absolutely relevant just now. Or... They might be away to the shops to hide from domestic abuse or the shouting of parents at them or one another...

     The darkest of dark demands the brightest of bright. One day, one interaction, one massive f*cking smile at a time! G-d Damnit presents, the bullsh*t world we currently live in...! F*ck's sake.

Cheers and thanks for reading,

Written by a 40 year old idiot!A dweeb who gives a shit...

vX

https://villainoftruth.blogspot.com/2020/04/personally-impersonal.html

Poetic Isolated Woes...

Life...

It cannot be,

Dictated by contracts,

Because external sources,

Build them to make profit...

Not actually to support,

So in the end we're all,

Attempting to appease,

A dying economy,

Which we bail,

We bail out,

So we...

We're,

The hope,

The fall back,

Their insurance,

Not the contracted way,

Not that way round...

Not one bit at all,

It's quite sad...

Sad to see...

No help,

But us,

In our,

Time,

Of,

Need!

Strict,

Docile,
Obsidian,

Perimeters,

Ubiquitous yet,

Obstruction measures,

Melded to murder hope,

In a relinquishment requiem,

Dire faithless sight moment,

Accompanied the last choir,

Singing praises of doom,

Unto the end we knew,

Foretold by books...

G-ds who abandon,

We're forlorn rot,

Will we ever,

Renew...?

Will...

We?