10,000 Days

My 10,000nth day I spent alone
Isolated from a faith state of grace
No entity's shoulder to comfort me
Forever singled out I fall doomed to self destruct

10,000 days seeking redemption
God left no exact path for salvation
But I refuse to give up until death is the only answer
Which I shall never choose
For I should never determine my own suicidal way to go

10,000 days flood my memory
Like armies trying to live in my mind
I scream out upon the floor in fear
What if they are trying to live in me
And I die here, remembering all the ill I ever did

10,000 days I've lived
So many children barely see 300
Take from mine so they might know
A life loved them who he did not know
My time determined by a choice to overthrow
A reality for a prayer everlasting
Which inside my consciousness shall never end

10,000 days with a single friend
I can live one with simply one
But to accomplish a means
That some might live with a bit more love
Before some comfort seeking mugger kills me
Seeking pocket change for altered reality
When waking tomorrow it will have ended
In a pool of my own blood I lie
Remember these words as I write and cry