Saturday, May 17, 2014

A Performance Transcript Poem: Dapper Ex-Spider Skeleton Stigma Devil

  The Written Spoken Word Transcript from last night's Philanthrobeats performance to end Social Stigma that exists in the intolerant realms towards those with mental ill health.


Dapper Ex-Spider Skeleton Stigma Devil


       For many years of my life, someone very close to me used to tell me I wasn't worth a vivid damn dream, that I should cease to exist at all... Eventually I stopped listening to the ill reprobate in the mirror...

      A quarrelling piano tidal enduring December recital illness flowed like reverse benediction, Holding back the grains of purpose as the beautiful sea of insecurities sandcastles into closed sickness doors of the mind ruins all around the former being that was me.


A Pariah inside my own holocaust anorexic husk.



     A self phantom abusive reflection of a ghastly intangible skeletal devolving limb of hope, no one will ever miss you, fish heritage, not so near the ocean bed of death.

     Compelled in disagreement to condemn the bipolar third deviant-mutated-heroic personality succession Reich, Mindsharing unwanted dermis geometry buried defiled talents of well puppeteered newspeak soliloquim events!

      Holding up shelter under a bulimic self purged esteem, Clothing dripping from the mouth's recent single forced digit crime,  As decay begins to writhe inside gaunt tendencies, Chained to my childhood burnt long suffering watched in emotion terror silence offerings, of health relapsing porcelain criminality!


      Hours distraught spent in earnest anticipation of a redefining night dream cerebus owl curfew moment: When under the napalm amputated wings of sulphur diseased angel's hides the every generation heirloom, written on our poetic sentient conscience soul;  wish!
        A refuge we're all D.N.A promised: of a loving intolerance unadulterated family's acceptance...


     Nature's seemingly artificial knowledge, For in most trial home based cases the embed intel seems derelict of truth. Ringing our bones with purple domestic riddle bruises!
     Our communal reincarnated yearning of a grafted love experience testifies to this sadness...
     But the archaic clarity lore of optimism's structure architects must long sanity lost aspirations ago been released from their infinite ode to a strangely dim joy never found works of sorrow.


      No matter what ill begotten mental strain incapacitates the nights, My fear black dread-ful austerity sheep epidermis is a prison of opaque disguised!


   A guardian's blanket signature pillow cell, With shame walls stained with endless wisdemonic memory ache tears of fallen atonement ash, no longer winged mythical f(r)iends,  Invisible are my only comrades in illness: The seven lions of a pathetic hydra's psalm isolated angel!


      Tonguelessly scream mouthing an inaudible Mother Lord's prayer! Their misery hands severed cauterize bound by incendiary ambitious sins, Are vengeance signing   the unsolicited  failed edge of time safe -  tone scattered grace deaf lethargic hallelujah chorus of inhumanely apathetic shadows, Against the white social lie injustice stigma  that is Avarice's complaisant comfort distracted purpose!


     Bitterly remarking inside that I... I am a strappingly homeless at heart off my own presumptuously assumed arrogant epidermis sleeve! Mumbling like thunder in fright of being vane!


      A dapper self wraith of hope respiratory ill of conscience' breath rarely taken reflection, A solitary mobile devil's anti-acceptance subconscious trench defence against my illness: Denial, Lingering in the paranoid dark murmurs of disavowed ruminations woven in congealing spider's abandoned silken prey blood!


      Fragments of an internal multiple schizophrenic green over sleep's black screen text sourced matrix dream monologue! For which there was no relief from... A jilted shelf white li(f)e of a self deformation ebb and sickeningly thin skeleton flow of a emaciated secondary intramural carapace platform harbinger's requiem!
     A not so wholly believable diagnosis of dissociated identity, unpleasantly haemorrhaging: a war! 
     Hunting the scent of a F(r)iend's silhouette reflected in fire infused sand, With a spear grin tipped dialogue, Entitled: false dismantling pretence, My a-smile!


     Marking the shadowy impression with the scent of dried vampiric dried gasoline thirst vermilion!


      Thriving on lucid burlesque swollen no undergarment tattooed open neck unto fang spectral fantasies!


       At a loss for consuming an arachnid woven silk pill, A gentle ashen mind soothing future from a forest box of fire incapacitated fox wood's second narrowly wicked genesis verse of a prescribed regeneration methods to contain the shadow's self annexed PTSD esteem sickness!


     Declaring a genocide of disagreements from illusionary cohabitants, Abusing the affairs of hope's dignity, The combatants have forever put the self - libel of - acceptance out of action!
      Creating the sub surface sequence of expounding daily episode of regrets, Leading the mirror towards this creeping forlorn doubt twin emotive helix sonnet parasite of well contempt rehearsed humiliation and suicide harmonic guilt!


      Aftermath of a single skin to knife f(r)iendship attempt is this: A blazing steal singed wrist scar!


     If you take no words away from this, remember  the following. Not as lecture or unqualified psalm, but as a reflection from a poet.


Here is the adage:


No one can say they love another, if they do not accept them!
No one can say they accept another, if they do not know them!
No one can claim to know someone, for who they really are, unless they desire it! 


In earnest anticipation of,


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