Heaven's Smile

I saw Your face in the rain one day
A bright cloud the essence
Of Your false smile you fake at me
Look at Your grand devotion to us all
A glancing view as we submit to pain

I see that shining smile amidst heaven's commotion
Fuck You, You never helped me walk anyway
I realize we cannot win, not even if we believe your fake
Your not some fucking crutch to lean on
You are the bearer and bringer of the most intense shame

Provoke my soul, bring it on
Fuck You! I renounce Your claim to my name
Where were you when I walked on frozen stone
When the thousand flaming tongues lashed on
They claim Your justifications behind their ways
Leaving me, no matter the choice alone and shamed

The snow storms down as if set on my destruction
Moreover than the last onslaught of freezing rain
All the while the flaming tongues lash on

I see that shining smile amidst heaven's commotion
Fuck You, You've mostly been a distant stranger
When I broadcast my pain with shouts of rage
You left me, Fuck You God, I can't wait to die
And with my last breath by fate breathe your name

You're the bearer and bringer of my most intense shame
Far beyond a family's judgments or a wife's ruthless hate
I see now ever so clearly, am I the last witness
To heaven's most sacred secret Your so easily faked smile
Hidden in the depths far off behind all of Heaven's commotion

Is this enough, what more prayers of shouting could one make
Rage isn't enough because soon it fades
Opening once again the realization
A storm parting opposite a curtain closing
I am one with the energies of all
Hatred, shame, love but mostly pain
That is why I know its true when I say
I truly do hate You most of my days

Ps. With love to the victims.