Tonight I was

Tonight I saw the dress and makeup you put on
Hidden in your massive wished up salon
But you'll never see how my eyes do
No matter the fancy you adorn
When you touch me I feel as a whore

Only I'm pimping myself out
So this evil trip can slide continue
Wanna fuck me for all eternity
Allowing this false illusion breaks me down
Soon I'll be your naked dancing clown

God allow me to forever close my eyes
And while the world passes by stop my breathing
I'm done competing for my own path with the blind
Its the only ending for my life they might find resolve
Or maybe just one will tear through the pain to find
Who I really was, and this shit the rest put me through

Tonight I feel like a whore
Like every time you touched me a whore
All internal issues ignored for labels
'your too fucked up, go on choose the easy way'
And with these words you compound the hurt

To your descent comfort life you leave
Avoid a confrontation of truth with me
I'm left standing with judging words
As if no ones ever left me as you did anyways
I walk on completely ignored for my other half's hurts
Expect me to do this forever while you all rape my love dry
Just shut up all of you your words aren't helping me

If you can't just say you love me no matter what comes to be
Then consider the past the shit you put me through for a start
You compound the issues you ignore while inside I harbor
Once I tried to confront you all but I got a middle finger
And the first judging words that my birth started it all
So I was never meant to be, I'm an infant gesture of accident
God come claim this life so I can be free from the self medicated From those seeking comfort to remain sleeping messaging, calling, and fingering me

Family ignores issues they won't see as true
Comfort opens more my complexity of wounds
Its so true to me, they want me to break away
I've created scares they can't carry
But what of me, unacknowledged in the frey