Fatherhood of Cursing

You fucked up again
Blamed your son for hidden sins
Your such an unforgivable bastard
Beware the force of will erupting behind pain

The world and its temptations
They hold your mind, your flesh
We your children are the price, the cost
Welcome once again to the memories
Of your grand cursing day of placing blame

Crept through behind your deceit
In my childhood I was the weakness
Trembled in fear before your wrath
But now all I see in your eyes
Is blind belief in an empty stair
The images of the hell that awaits you
Or are you already there

You can't plead Satan's prompting
In Silence your weak hands gave into the calling
You entered the forests of impurity
The vastness of shame ridden with lust
You laid the foundation for the torment
In our future curse and separation we lament

The world and its temptations
They hold your mind, your flesh
We your children are the price, the cost
Welcome once again to the memories
Of your grand cursing day of placing blame

Now in my turmoil you judge me
Treachery behind foolish words at night
Out from a source of blind belief and pride
Can't have the shame of divorce in your family
Your blindness covers any conflict or pain inside of me
In the emptiness of opinion you clamor for more words
But you don't want to understand who I am
Or acknowledge what I'm searching for

The Unspoken Wish

Star gaze deep into my eyes
Wishing a reconfiguration my personality
The dreaming ways in which I live my life
How interesting it is to fight
For a future you don't want to see
Set me free, to fly or fall
For my soul's conquest I dream tonight

I want to walk on
Believing in an eternal energy
Some may call it hope or love
But I call it a dream of an unreal acceptance
Breathed as free equality for all mankind
Its sad we couldn't live it you and I

I lie alone at home on the floor
Comatose after a doctor ordered you my pill
Swimming in my own soul's emptying saliva
The day the surgeon implanted new memory
Screaming into the emptiness why, why, why
They followed your every selfish wish

The sheet you read off in response
Like a technician scripted over the phone
The affects may take a day or two to apply
Then the new memory will take hold
And his old life and dreams will die

I don't believe your good
I believe you are a lie
Deceiving to protect the unknowing self
Trembling in hiding behind the viewing screen
Thats tinted you use to see your life

Someday I want to believe in love
But tonight is not that night
I thought by chance you were ready
But sadly we cannot share this life
The intertwined unwound

Black Battle

In the skies the angels steal my fate
Delivering it to the most ancient one
Never to give signature of release
The price of dying for an unseen cause

In the skies the angels steal my fate
Here comes my everlasting destiny of misery
A thousand pardons upon everyone else' life
They seek nothing but future pleasures
Yet you allow their fancy dressed flesh freedoms
While in the dark I exist in mental torment

The silence I accommodated
Stole my voice from me
Descry a far off the bleak future
It rapes the heart in me

The ancient one and his temptress
They fed the system we now embrace
Soon democracy will be called everlasting night
We are the minions of our self consumed misery

From the sky feathers of dying angels fall
While demons and Lilith surge forth in conquest
On an unacknowledged proletariat against bourgeoisie battlefield
Where the children awaken, hearkening a call to fight
For today's equality lies hidden behind our fleshly desires

In the skies the angels steal my fate
Here comes my everlasting destiny of misery
A thousand pardons upon everyone else' life
They seek nothing but future pleasures
Yet you allow their fancy dressed flesh freedoms
While in the dark I exist in mental torment

Silence means dismembering my own life
I cannot sleep after mental encounters with villainy
The truth is this future is not the place for me
So go on release me into unknown political wars
Leave me alone at night to scream my masters name

A Gamer's Misleadings

In a fantasy world where dragons play
I watched my hours slip into days
If I wanted I could turn forever
The inhumanity of the game away

You see me on the surface
But inside I'm wrapped in hell
My flesh is silently still
But my mind is constant seeking shelter
From all the pain you blasted me with
Why can't you just let go

I'm ransom captive my your hollow heart
A holy paladin could never save me from the grave
I pull myself away as my resto shaman cleanses me
Of the magic mage's frozen nova heart inside you
The demon your soul linked to chants as you embrace

You see me on the surface
But inside I'm tormented as one in hell
I cast obliterate to blow myself away
But my flesh falls limp as in a silent dream
My mind shatters in a moment of stun locked doubt
A holy pillar of fire in the distance set ablaze
For all the pain you blasted me with
Why can't you just let go

You thought I sought shelter in the comfort
The distance of myself in another reality
But the truth is I don't trust you enough
I showed you my dreams and you started a penny jar
Once I would have crossed the seven seas for you
But I found that it was a mental image of lies projected as truth
I want my inner moth a peaceful degenerate butterfly molt myself of you
Why can't you turn and walk, in the vastness of pain, away

Are you waiting like a unicorn to tear me apart
As a rogue to backstab me with lies and control over and over again
I am one on a distant island dreaming of a daylight that shall never be
But for now in my gamer's world is where thou shalt find me
If you want something speak, seek me
Otherwise turn forever from this pain and walk away

Terms of Death

In your precious inner circles you hold face
Behind closed doors you want me back
So on your terms I can die

This world won't ever change
As I lay dying I saw the desires of many
For conformity to our wishes
Governed by our economic systems spending ways
A system set up to fail and end the blissful sleeping days

Tomorrow may fall but today is a day I never wanted
A day already gone by during which slavery to our system won
You embrace its silent ways until the dragon wakes a sleeping slave
Somewhere far off and they take a chance to end their family's torment
But in doing so the create anger, and not a consciousness in us
About how we and our system have to change

So continue forever on in your inner accepting circles
Hold face until the tragedy comes when all will cry
Then behind those closed doors you'll finally forget my past pains
But still you'll wish me back, if only so that on your terms I might die

The Pyre of the Believable Me

So I stayed to speak with you, wife
Denied the attraction of running away
Until that fateful day, when you broke the earliest promise
And told me so many painful times to 'fucking go away'
I tried to hard to be someone who actually cared
I see now wisdom leading the blind will never do

You tore out my eyes as you painted yourself the victim
I tried to teach you love, but comfort in my conformity attracted you
And so I showed you a path out of the system
But you fucked me over while spitting on the pyre
Walking astray only to regret not conforming me to more comfortable ways
But now the flames consume the corpse you tried to craft out of me

I see a vast blaze on a dawning horizon
Its my body burning lit by tiny wishes
Thrown down be each one's hand held matches
All my teenage friends and family walking away

It was over the day you blamed me
For all uninvited pain I gave you
But on that wedding day you changed
You obtained your greatest ignorant wish
But in the end, nothing changed your still the same as everyone
You couldn't acquire the will to overcome the attraction

I poured out a thousand words to a speed reader
Who never gave a conscious fuck to give a decent reply
Remain in waiting forever until you've consumed my whole life
Conscious love of one embracing ignorance is not everlasting

I would have torn down a thousand jagged lights for you
But now I see the tragic simplistic truth
You gave in to the materialistic attraction
Didn't know the reasons why you did anything
Your whole life was a magazine crafted lie

I see a vast blaze on a dawning horizon
Its my body burning lit by tiny wishes
Thrown down by each one's hand held matches
All my teenage friends and family walking away

I turned back around once again
To see you living a lie and screaming I'm to blame
You gave in to the attraction

My butterfly attraction never molted into the beautiful moth
Inside the choice was never even seen
The truth of all that is never reached the depths of you
There is nothing to teach you

Fucking spit again on the pyre your lies created
All my past relationships villinate me
My family hates the image of me you so easily crafted
Now I'll stand at the edge of hell forever
Will our end mean my hands helped craft hell
I believe your underlying mentality is a disease
So many obtain it unconsciously and cannot be brought back

I see a vast blaze on a dawning horizon
Its my body burning lit by tiny wishes
Thrown down by each one's hand held matches
All my teenage friends and family walking away

For all of them I'll die, I'll take the flames of anger upon my skin
Torch my life with lies, speak anything and in the end watch me burn
The funeral pyre my lover so easily by means of words started
A vast enclave of victims to willingly remain unconscious
For the sake of the vast ease of comfortable attraction
And like that new age hymn be believed forever and a day

The reason I never got to 17 ways to die on Sunday
Was because I gave in to your comfortable wishes
I left you alone to deal with a small measure of ending pain
Than my lifetime of challenging conscious, religious, equality words
I gave in and confirmed my death with number 3

Now I am the vast blaze on a dawning horizon
Its me mom and dad, my body burning lit by your tiny wishes
I was your test subject, but you couldn't deal with my ways
Still you ever and always claimed to know whats best
You sold me out, a contract made for me to throw me away
24 and alone, addicted to toxins prescriptions I needed gave
Without a job or friend you claimed it was love

But now I see how it was just your wishes to see my in flames
I see your hands throw your matches on my pyre
Then turn and walk away, I never could open your minds
One believed blindly to craft conformity, the other submission gave
This is the song I create to leave you with new pains
Of how your tiny blind believing, ignorant comfort wishes
Are the underlying mentality of a subconscious
That the God you believe in never endorsed free will to obtain
It is a lie you believe to be comfortable and never change