God or Direction

Do I need a God or even a direction
To believe in before I confess my sins
Should I die without its just one man down
May I find my own world of bliss

I meditate to clear the eyes in my mind
But the pain awakens from a world inside
Soon to pinch the nerve ending in my neck
This comes about just in time
To swim in images of a long lost life

Parading in hell no reason to deny it
I fed the starving while you horded it all
Stealing maggot filled bread to justify the lie
Before a child's eyes you tolerate their downfall
How I wish my cancer would bring revenge
My death a moment of tragic unfocus upheaval

Do I need a God or even a direction
To believe in before I confess my sins
Should I die without its just one man down
May I find my own world of bliss

Open wide you fuck, every 3rd world dying life is your sign
Comfort is your everyday sin, an intolerable selfish lie
This is my final act of desperation
Strapped to a bed as the ambulance to the hospital flies
The focus to save my sickly sunken faced skeleton
Who above all desires even this partial drugged up comfort to end!!!!

Path of the Chosen Lonely

My life isn't for personal love
You discarded my hope
Now get the fuck off my path
I'd rather walk on lonely

But for now I sit alone
Until my time comes to go
I'll march out like their prisoner
And let the firing squad entertain them

Sitting in a dusty place
Far away from hope
In silence I'm dealing with my own head
Inside is a circus of circling eyes
Dangerous is their gaze upon me

But for now I sit alone
Until my time comes to go
I'll march out like their prisoner
And let the firing squad entertain them

Even now I stand in shadow
Blamed forever at any cost
Took over my whole mind
I'm now everyone's accumulated shames

Test Tube Self

I came down from the scale
You sent me to judge my weight
Laughed at my 13 year old fattened carcass
Claims made amidst laughter I weighed more than you

You fed me all that fucking food
Never thought about my health
Or how the children laughed at me in school
I walked every day my 5 minutes of horror
Wondering who would throw rocks at me that day

I told you it was happening
But you always claimed a loving comparison truth
Now I see you as ill advised pacifists
Meandering away from a loving confrontation
Waiting as the vultures circle over my head
Burned my yearbooks in my bedroom
As the tears from my eyes casts fears all over

You claimed to love me
But in return I say fuck you
You called me your trial run child
And I conceded to your tests of ignorance
Am I born from an experimental test tube

I came home from school that day
Beaten with welts upon my face
Held down by three school mates
All you could bring yourself to say
Get used to a society that will ever treat me that way

16 years old struck down a second time that day
By parents who claimed to love me
But made a bargain deal with comfort
So for a second time turned a blind eye to my abuse
More than their own flesh, blood and bones
Deal with life your fucking self they say
I suppose they'll be silently watching

You claimed to love me
But in return I say fuck you
You called me your trial run child
And I conceded to tests of your ignorance
Am I born from an experimental test tube

I tell you the truth
Only a shadow remains
Of the child you once claimed you knew

Desperation Choice

You waited your whole life
Wasting time pursuing comforts
Waiting endlessly for a sign
Which never came until your final day
Now in the car crash wreckage you cry
Wondering why and if the crash was the sign

In our final act most common is desperation
We brace ourselves for the endless fall
A scream rings as you come to realize
Your backs against the wall
Waited too long for that free ride sign
Into an blissful lullaby

As if your faith was itself a savior
An oblivion fail safe to fall back upon
The numbers in sequence add up against us
Every day until death versus our last regretful moments
When we gave a half baked false and ignorant confession
As it was an act of desperation just before the death fall

We never tried to mend broken lives
Nor feed the masses with money or our time
We just asked the banks to loan us ever more
So we could live in more comfort like fools waiting for a sign
We desire mansions and streets of God in our daily lives

In our final act most common is desperation
We brace ourselves for the endless fall
A scream rings as you come to realize
Your backs against the wall
Waited too long for that free ride sign
Into an blissful lullaby

But I assure you heaven is your hell
Unless you turn from comparing lives
Labeling the banks business decisions as blessings
So you can own more while the 3rd world dies
Fuck you fools stop waiting for a sign

Fuck you fools stop waiting for a sign
Justifying your comfort seeking joy ride
God doesn't hear cries after your end
In your final act of skeleton degenerate desperation
Just as the transmission comes in you believe its the sign
But in reality its your final mission to completed, you die

Sophia

As makeup to the face
So materials cover grace
Not some new revelation
Ancient wisdom proclaimed
From all corners and every race
And yet it so often entertained

Sophia at the brink of all death
How do you still watch over us
The willingly absence

As comparison hides insecurity
So racism hides intolerance and hatred
In this realm of rage there is no guilty
So you claim this, such thoughts are filthy

As scripture now breeds conformity
So comparison kills the said unity
It is a tool we use to justify our ways
Even if only at church on Sunday

Sophia the name we can never remember
At the brink of all death
You still offer your free gift
How is it you will yourself to still watch over us
The willingly absence

As a pop culture lifestyle peer pressures
So social seeking acceptance kills children
Just so you can wear your favorite fashion
Fuck the brand for names sake
When will this bullshit world come to end

A Final Number

On a fateful new years day
Satan came to take ownership his claim
Beneath a blazing sky the earth relinquished us men
And the vision came true of salvation's true number
We cried out in terror for those alive it was merely ten

The second coming's number was merely ten living men
We dragged their empty shells we still called corpses away
In nothing special just rotten wood boxes in rusting hearses
Who cared after all about ten, there was no shame left in us

It was time to be dangerous
Time to look God in the eye
The first question why his numbers were amiss
Then why our frustration over this exists
And finally why there was never any second attempt
Or proof given if true love he claimed to give

I write my words with shame
I know some have come into your heads
Fuck, why are justifications so predictable
Surrender to Sophia's brave aid
Or walk unimaginatively to your own eternal deaths

Imagine a second coming
Were no judge or tribunal exists
But inside you immediately know
It doesn't matter how many times in church you raised your hand
Transgression of ignorance covering comfort
Realized too late, for time itself for you has past

The number revolt completed or extinguished
They the pages gave up to a new total so easily
Our transgressions against all unbound
An everlasting debt to hell shall we pay
Or shall we forever hear Sophia's tortured heart speak
As she gave her life to be neglected
And alas heaven's gates we still did see

What Chorus is This

When Satan spoke of defeat rampant in churches
He never said a word into our precious heads
Our own ignorance was the greatest circus of negligence
Wisdom never began her march against our worldliness
We enjoyed rape, disloyalty and comfort
All the while the vision past by our eyes
It spoke of our bodies carrying our soul's as hearses

So powerful the chorus
Even God was a bit nervous
As the verse whispered of battle
And triumphant defeat sung in the breeze

I know your waiting for the punchline
Here comes God's everlasting glory
But sadly if you believe this you are absence
The choice you made amongst the craziness
Was the rape of any greatness

Wait for it here comes the agony applause
Straight from God's teleprompter into your home
You stand silently a moment, then begin cheering
Until heaven came into your hearts and head
Then you realized you were the walking absence

In every moment you chose selfishness or comfort
Where was your consciousness' loyalty
Was it caged behind rusting bars all mortified
Or was it all the while denied inside your own head
I tell you the truth, you are the walking absence

So powerful the chorus
Even God was a bit nervous
As the verse whispered of battle
And triumphant defeat sung in the breeze

Bravely justifying every act with for told ignorance
Its too bad for so long it entertained you
Even at the brink of death you compared, gave labels
And eventually denounced all that was by nature heavenly

In your final moments you stood dumbly smiling
Handing blindly over your resignation letter
Comparing against an old neighbor acts of good
Still you claim salvation in a dream of lies
Claiming at least I wasn't as heavy set as she
Or that you raised your hands in singing on Sunday
Instead of twiddling your thumbs silently
Far away is heaven from thee

Even if you could ever come to be
Inside the gates of your perfectly white mansion
In hell you would be as silence consumes you
The lie on earth you claimed to be
And the wretched thing you find yourself now as
Whilst siting in shame still comparing

Even behind the gates of the heavenly
Beside the silent man who always knew
How horrible the struggle it was on earth could be
To know thyself one's greatest enemy

Black Cross

Lies and ignorance in the media exist
Distortions of truth rise out of the mist
Born from a rich governor's pasture
In fields where the persecuted scream

Welcome to the land of death
If not our own, who shall we suggest
Will we rush into war in the name of progress
Or wait for a setup later calling it a test
In the aftermath paranoia is the real mess

Yes master we'll blindly serve your progress
While at home our children wait at an oasis
Never again shall I see my blood's face
But you care only of holding new ground

Call it a foothold on terror or a step for freedom
Your labels leave me buried as an empty shell
A vessel of submission for new comforts at home
Tools of conformity for wealth alone do we stand

Blindly Guilty

We deny massive tragedies because of pigment
Tone of skin is the impasse we can't embrace
We want everyone's conformity
Anyone else is an evil born anomaly

Guilty until our eyes say innocent
Opinions are absolute no such thing as evidence
Media instilled images brought unjust predisposed perception
Like wild animals we are unleashed into the night

No option for change
Not even if confronted with evidence
Closed minded harmful opinions
Passed down blindly from ignorant parents
When will we teach critical thinking as a class

Brace ourselves for the impact
A falling civilization upon 3rd world backs
We crave comfort but we want no cost
Sadly we walk blindly to our own end

Come now awake critical consciousness inside
Otherwise take your pitiful ghost
And crawl back into your damaged shell

Guilty until proven innocent
Sadly our eyes no longer see the difference
We the deadly menacing jury
To a generation brought up blindly

Ancient Martyrs

Don't be afraid
I alone didn't create this message
Its not some deluded enchantment
A forward view of progression

Take our unsatisfying obsessions
Make us into our own martyrs
This is the most ancient message
To our inner voice we're responding

This isn't some new ideal
Nor a religion against science
I just realized this world is treacherous
Our own death is impending
So grab hold be vigilant of your future

In every small step is a transmission
We become a martyr to our own obsessions
Its not some fucking game I'm playing
All I'm asking is that we all begin responding

Mark of Invisible

We all know in heaven
We'll be forced to fight against the nothing
You all know it as the idleness we selfishly choose
We force our own negligence with a blind eye

Give them a moment of your time
They are human, we must be equal
There is no such thing as the mark of the invisible
Stop the idle mind and vote to veto the nothing
Fight against the mental mark of the invisible

What a great view we have from here
Comfortable and blind chosen in our freedom
When will you wake up and cry at the cravings
Of loving each child alive as your own sons

Is it best we stand idle and do nothing
You know that after its all said and done
You won't be blessed in heaven's mansions
Cravings of a few don't out weight the deaths
The lack of effort for the many who lose everything
Willing for every forward only to die with nothing

Give them a moment of your time
They are human, we must be equal
There is no such thing as the mark of the invisible
Stop the idle mind and vote to veto the nothing
Fight against the mental mark of the invisible

I veto your lives to a point of standby
An embargo of against your comfort and wasting time
Until you unify against the wasteful culture in view
Its time to open our hearts with our conscious minds

Family(iar) War

My voice the sound
Turning children into demons
Parents shouts are drowned
By the resounding of our weapons

How else to explain the contamination
Its not a virus that away your implanted chip
A new freedom to question your self crowned authority
An unfamiliar feeling to be bitter, but now with a purpose
In other words your were once and for all time dethroned

Take these words
Turn them into vigilance
Waking each into bitterness
Conforming us all by choice
From some maternal instinct
Parents propose over us calling it a plan

You never saw the complication within our chest
Once we loved you but then you proposed a test
You quoted a verse and expected our conformity
But you forgot the second half
Which if spoken is our awakening

The war goes something like this
"Children obey your parents"
Spoken to us all as common morality
But the second portion is the elixir
"Fathers do not embitter your children"
Dethroned from your self proclaimed parental glory

Take these words
Turn them into vigilance
Waking each into bitterness
Conforming us all by choice
From some maternal instinct
Parents propose over us calling it a plan

Children of men awaken to the freedom of thought
Your welcome to question every foolish theory
I'm tired of watching us all fall under hypnosis
While we wait for our parental units to invade
Or take over by verse or quote our whole lives

Revenue as a Demon

I'm kept alive in cubicle solitude on intravenous
As if across the universe my life had a purpose
Like a dog on a chain I'm sapped of courage
As bottom of the circuit worker I'm worthless

Unanswered questions linger in our pawn like heads
Will the smallest in humanity over gross revenue matter
As another low level worker slits his wrists
Another just one cubicle over drinks her cup of cyanide
You sit in an office pondering who to fire next
Your so disconnected from us, why don't you step down
Entreat upon us open dialogue or eventually you'll be our demon

Keep us around until we fulfill your purpose
Hire another wave behind us before we're eligible for benefits
No reward of honor for the strongest link in your weakest plan
The sweetest sound is the alarms that resounds
As the mobs steal back the gold they labored for you horded
Just to fill the molding for your elitist elegant crowns

Unanswered questions linger in our pawn like heads
Will the smallest in humanity over gross revenue matter
As another low level worker slits his wrists
Another just one cubicle over drinks her cup of cyanide
You sit in an office pondering who to fire next

Take our scarred hands we'll carve out your demons
Unlike you we don't abandon at a hint of inconsistency
Even a self proclaimed judge and jury admits to bad days
We don't hire in droves expecting a fool to wear the crown

Against my Doctorate

First I sought out a diploma
Turns out that didn't qualify me
Corporate wanted a higher pedigree
As if from this paper my dreams will manifest

All this creation bow to your doctorate degree
We the lesser folks are walking 90% blind
Your tolerance and actions tell us you agree
What consequences pride in a paper shall breed

Secondly four more years I ran for a undergrad
Humility this course imbued deep within
Still those with more paper ridiculed me
Because my critical mind didn't blindly agree

I couldn't shut my mouth long
In a land where conformity is the decree
And we kill magnificent tree for whats in our minds
Something that can never be described or seen
Fuck the traditions which university papers breed
Generations from now will not count your degrees
What done in life will echo in another's life
Ever on as a whisper past into eternity

All these in creation bow to your doctorate degree
We the lesser folks are walking 90% blind
Your tolerance and actions tell us you agree
What consequences pride in a paper shall breed

Thirdly I fought mental tooth and theoretical nail
For a masters degree in English grammar
Just so I could rearrange it all to convey dreams
Lies tell us unless backed by credentials we won't be recognized
Justify my own imbued imagination abilities with paperwork
Saying I'm just going to write more predictable fantasy

For a doctorate degree I walked into a holy temple
Lacking freedom to think and all reality of equality
Were signed mandates create a new pedigree
Detached from our neighbors we've lost ourselves

Our last and only hope is to find peace as a sailing retiree
This is the greatest treason to the those who rise up next
We've lived our whole lives uncritical of unquestioned traditions
That we simply throw away in retirement in our old age
And for this we are then given our last degree
We are called a true intellectual because we finally live free
Strive for equality or sail of into the sea

Shame I am

Perceptions killed all ties
Guided by an ignorant flame I'm despised
They did not separate the colors or sounds
No longer able to pronounce my name

My shame killed their comfort
When their traditions could not change (me)
I became the enemy of their happiness
Something I've never shared in or known

Whom can I trust all my blood has turned away
I can no longer implore aid of my brothers
I am left alone to remain whilst I walk the earth
Where once lies a rift created hatred dominates

My shame killed their comfort
When their traditions could not change (me)
I became the enemy of their happiness
Something I've never shared in or known

Is anyone left who can remember the self
Throw away the ancient traditions
Where hatred once was let love dominate
Or alone shall we walk bare foot upon dry sands

Where is it now that I am doomed to travel
Could you ever tell me when you stand still yourself
You can't see the beauty in me can you in any?

Responding

Why has your heart stopped responding
Its not a conspiracy we should fear
Please don't vanish so we can learn the price(s)
Judge me all you want
Just don't leave me alone in the flames

You were the closest to perfect
The moment I met you the martyr
Wake up now, march one with us
Puke up the pills see the beauty
In every life once you found a reason

I'm not afraid of you
Just please don't lie there lifeless
Fuck you, wake and start responding
Your dying now, won't bring a better future

Walk out from under the enchantment
One or two more are dying while you sleep
Imagine what you can accomplish if you keep existing
Wake up you selfish bastard so you can see

This is beauty in all its creation
A freedom in any format your truth can manifest
I see your consciousness hiding behind your inner eye
Wake up, there is so much left for your hope to shape

A Dream for Our Children

Piano Version 1.0

May all our children live in gluttony
Be wasteful with all creation
Walking proud in our desensitized modesty
May our white become tanned skinned baked putrid beauty

Man kind isn't going to make it
Unfavorable faith in a luck based theory
Unmatterable in words like love or morality
Unstably in correcting every mutated cell
(Save the prison our hearts are locked in)
So lets go out like a big bang
Lacking in the end, as the beginning
Everything with the addition of the word beauty

May our children inherit our selfish priorities
Their talents hidden behind their Ritalin dosage
Prescribed for an uncertain diagnosis for A.D.D
May our children inherit our tragic pride

In a pageant we watch our children's beauty
Paraded for all those at home on big screen TVs
One child's dream is the stages future nightmare
Your one in a million contract driven reality
Don't protect a little queen bait her around
Like a hooked worm we fish
For more ways to make money

May all our children live on in our gluttony
Be wasteful with whats left of creation
Walking proud in our desensitized money molesting modesty
May our white become tanned skinned baked putrid beauty
Conform our sad children in a robotic puberty transition
To a future where they will never again smile


Metal Version 2.0

May all our children live in gluttony
Be wasteful with all creation
Walking proud in our desensitized modesty
May our white become tanned skinned baked putrid beauty

May our children grow up to finish work on the theory
As if proving the theory will terminate the debate
There will always be those who believe intelligence is how we began
That indeed we are imbued with morality living in a creation

May all our children live on in our gluttony
Be wasteful with whats left of creation
Walking proud in our desensitized money molesting modesty
May our white become tanned skinned baked putrid beauty
Conform our sad children in a robotic puberty transition
To a future where they will never again smile

Transparent is Imagery

Seems I am all alone
No one hears my words or understands
Still they stand proud lecturing down at me
Venture forth into my desolate land of shadows

Spirits turn me into the transparent
So I can walk through pain
The secret out now but I'll always be to blame
In death my invisibility may become apparent
No need to continue lingering on this plain
Spirits or death turn me into transparent

I've seen enough black and white images of pain
Newspapers portray one half a political reality
The other is stuffed in a plan of marketing
Images shall always tell the truth
Unless doctored to fit a perception or point of view
Let the lyric resound with images of truth

Can't you see I've had enough
Stop your proclamations over me
Maybe you don't have to understand
Just love me as I am
Otherwise life'll be the end of me

Spirits turn me transparent
Hear the lyrics they are the pieces
Automated speeches with no vision
They are entertainment alone
Lifeless in themselves they are no help

Your words are like pledges
Quotes of what someone else thinks
Automated speeches mostly meaningless
You deny me the answer to a simple question
Are the words from yourself, do you understand?

I've picked up the scattered pieces of self
Can you begin to replicate my response
Or without answer do you turn and walk away

Spirits turn me into the transparent
So I can walk through pain
The secret out now but I'll always be to blame
In death my invisibility may become apparent
No need to continue lingering on this plain
Spirits or death turn me into transparent

Agony at a Beautiful Cost

I accepted a great agony
But fuck, what a wonderful cost
Lust overcame your self imprisonment
At the sight of me the raping began
Amidst the shouting and tearing
I understood you knew no shame

You raped me for all I am
In the aftermath I enjoy the evidence
I'm still disappointed how it all began
But she'll always be the cost I love throughout time
We march on together and I accept the agony
And the beautiful cost

So far away from love was your lustful screaming
In the silence I became agony until the brink of death
Far away from hope behind a cage of rusty shouting
I barely heard your angry frustrations wishing only for silence
No shame came from the lusts in your head upon my living flesh
So unpredictable the danger in how your eyes see
I was never any measure of brave before her life began
The ultrasound became the vision of humanity in me

But for the glory in shifting shadows
Forever silent I would have been
I was at the brink of death
In your mental circus of absence lustings

You raped me for all I am
In the aftermath I enjoy the evidence
I'm still disappointed how it all began
But she'll always be the cost I love throughout time
We march on together and I accept the agony
And the beautiful cost

On the stand no one saw frustration or fear
Inside me grew a wonderful gift amidst the agony
However brave I might seem inside I wasn't pretending
Now all I live for is something you cannot yet see
She is the most beautiful creation of my victimized cost

Denial Twice Reminded

As a mirror I see myself in your eyes
I turn away as I know I'll never be ready
My shipped sailed away assailed on every side
I still believed in the possibility of hope
But it left my soul that night
While in silence I was hurting
I hung up the phone, knowing I'd never again
Begin to hope in being even just 'alright'

I know you'll never understand me
And I know I'll never again trust you
Once an ignorant harmony ruled over our lives
But an injustice brought forth the lies
Born a captive vengeance twice denied
A reasonable thing that can't be described

You told me you'd wait for me
Forever holding onto hope in a son
But why did you go behind my back
And kill every version of hope
With the betrayal of lust that night

Was it a dozen moments or just one
That you gave your body over to him
Begging of him privileges once mine
The fuck do I do while the reel keeps playing
In my head every time I lay my head down at night

I know you'll never understand me
And I know I'll never again trust you
Once an ignorant harmony ruled over our lives
But an injustice brought forth the lies
Born a captive vengeance twice denied
A reasonable thing that can't be described

I thought you were good
Turns out even that was a lie
Sure to some people your alright
But you killed the wise version of you that night
How could you expect me to turn a blind eye
When I close them again the reel plays
And I'm watching him caress you so tight