The Collapse

Complicated existence in which breaths lies
A future foretold from heavenly bold outlines
Screaming 'if I were you'..... I'd break upon you all
I can't remember for the life of me
The words of truth revealed
Now by science are controlled inconsistencies
Rumors of theories bound by deep subconscious hate

I desire my own collapse
I won't defend myself
Please enslave off my hands
Plague out my unlit eyes
As I await my own desperate demise
In this time when no hope remains

I rejoice as the wounds relapse
Blood flows anew into open diseased oblivion
I forget the chosen saving words
I collapse at the solitude of infected impasse
Of time where I truly began and my desire took an end

Please steal my violent hands
Defile my bleeding ears
Stomp out my vacant eyes
Radio edit my tone def voice
But beware my evil smile
It will exist always in your mind
Each day you wake it will greet you

Wash me away
To sink into hopeless death
The Christ fucked me over
Rejoicing at my souls hunting down
Left alone to choose without a map
Or a light left to show the way
Evil labels of society
Constantly torment the lidless eye
Behind my venomously swollen mind

No bandages left to apply
Open wounds fester in the sun
Alone without the great companion
To acknowledge my pain
Or guide my disillusioned way
Meandering aimlessly
Now you watch me as I suffer

But then I came unto here
And saw anew my blackened heart
With no hope given or left in association
All my labels as disclaimers fell away
Now I turn the tables on my own grave
The purifying means are in my own hands
As God's sits enthroned and laughs beyond time

Today I realized my desire for stability in security
Exists to break my will into unchanging conformity
And create a recycled vision of an empty destiny
Soon I'll choose to turn away into my own hopeless future
A chosen destiny from my soul's last passionate wish
If God exists my will is the right way
To see my life lived solo without the great companion
Alone with myself
My heart
To break my own dismay
I remember now these words

"When your energy is by all finally broken
Sink to your knees in solitude.... meditate or pray"
And when I wake I will conform my dreams
To that destiny of the God's endless endurance
My will has no place in labels that made the rest of you
My fools hope is to sink
Into the realm of history with every trace
As the guy who fought for equality
For all to see, live, and embrace
Against the damage of structured madness
Welcome to the death of my soul