Monday, August 11, 2008

Suicide Resume

How inconsiderate it would be applying for life
With suicide written on my resume
Measuring my success by your standards
The amounts of anything I might own
But the physical nothingness gained
Shows my belief in your system of fun
I've become free in death to be uniquely me...

In the cold earth
I'd be free
100% alright you'll see
The worms digest the corpse of me
As the I in me floats slowly
I see that no one ever loved
The true I, I showed me to be

Do you know how bad suicide looks on a resume?
Its the only reason I haven't tried it yet

Suggested suicide on a resume
A truth the world blocks from its heart
Not with love but up with grand selfish hate
At the sight of anyones self inspired suicide
It doesn't matter their worth to save them
Might costs me time or too much emotion
We call them emo, and tell them to 'fuck off,
Grow some balls and digest your loses.'

How inconsiderate it would be applying for life
With suicide written on my resume
They called me emo, as I cried out for love
In front of class, with poems of grace
Asking for fairness between everyone
I broke their hearts on my greatest day
They heard the crash of the gun from the class rooms
As they fueled their ignorant anger talking about me
Behind my back, as they do most every unique one

I say the words disallowed to them
But silence, the metaphoric joke is what I see
They hate feeling of giving of self to fill a need
Of anyone other than their own self inspired lust called 'me'.

Do you know how bad suicide looks on a resume?
Its the only reason I haven't tried it yet

In the cold earth
I'd be free
100% alright you'll see
The worms digest the corpse of me
As the I in me floats slowly
To unknown places I long to see
I might not have ever been loved
Even though I always showed
The true I, I uniquely became as me

I am the lie masquerading as me
Already dead because my father abused me
Drunken rages consumed his mind that night
The eve that metaphoric knife hit my heart
And I gave up on being loved completely
In the bathtub my wrists bled and I died slowly

God I'm so sorry for being me
Take me home as I step from the chair
With this rope around my neck
I've never been holy, I'm a broken down wreck
They call me emo, or gothic, but I'm just uniquely me
Undescribable, so they gave me a generic label instead
I got so tired of labels for nothing but ignorance and hate
I step off the chair, I know the cost.... my soul?
God embrace me as in this world I was at a loss!
I strived to love, but the universe broke me down
All the men demand fairness, but only give to those they accept
Not the teen in drag, nor the poet, outside the clique you pay the costs
The verbal bashings, the detrimental language that brings about this.....
The crimson blood from my nose flowing, as I stepped off with this rope around my neck!

I was too tired of this world
And the hatred of those who claimed to love

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