Fist Gestures

Proper hand gestures
Voice raised with a fist to ignorance
Middle finger fist purge the comfort that exists
Selfishness becomes untrue

Pockets full of change
Unminted by political design
No bank could accept payment
Words are my coin
Write to survive

Proper hand gesture
Voice raised as a monetary slave
Middle finger fist purge the comfort that exists
Self-corrupt bank gave a loan
Awaiting home repossession

Pockets full of change
Redesigning political purpose
Worldwide equality should be in supply
1st world see God as a white male
Forgetting very life is divine
Words are my weaponry
Write to survive

Improper hand gestures
Pockets full of fists in silence
Starvation exists as we do nothing
Good people unite in church to gossip
Forgot the conscience at the door
By faith their ignorance survives

Raise my fists to swear at God
Wear human skin to acknowledge life
Suffering renewed every day I arrive
Purge humanity of faith without deed
Divide us into the guilty and the true
Buddha forgive the Karma bliss
An eclectic abyss conquering
Soon all will believe nothing
Just a bunch of Judas’
To every movement

I give thanks for my weaponry
Uplifting innocent found guilty
By a system harbouring bribes
When will our world unite
Equality is now a divide
Everyone’s right
To survive

Embryo Submission

I’m in this for the change
Not the oncoming payback
From the next generation of children
Ain’t been given their flesh homes or names yet
They got pockets full of payback from God
We dreamed at night while embryos died

Embryo submission
Is more than just energy
Or frustrated self-therapy
Children hidden in the sky
Embryo recalled to a collection
Fuck those vomiting we let em die
Their diarrhea is our water waste
Embrace cultures mismanagement
1st world suffering defined
Loss of comfort

Sit here not knowing what to write
Crying inside as my conscious attempt to rhyme
All I can offer is a promise of self-awareness
To mint the change in humanity with words
Not minted by government but my mind
Children worldwide must stop dying

Embryo submission
Is more than just energy
Or frustrated self-therapy
Children now hidden in the sky
Fetus recalled to a collection
A test tubed subject organism
Fuck those vomiting we let em die
Their dehydration is our water waste
Embrace cultures selfish mismanagement
Undo the comfort prison mechanism
Bow down to push with dignity
We prolong suffering with preyer
Accept your fate or deny
Right to survive

My habitat is clearly defined
Ignorant or rich live as others die
I drank from the potion meant for you
Now I’ll survive modestly renewed
Deny the God you can’t find
Ancestors promised life
Hallowed be 1st world

Embryo submission
Is more than just energy
Or frustrated self-therapy
Children now hidden in the sky
Fetus bagged up for a collection
A trashed test tube organism
Fuck those vomiting we let em die
Their dehydration is our water waste
Embrace cultures selfish mismanagement
Undo the comfort prison mechanism
Fuck I love what my mouth can do
Undo the soul prison mechanism
Bow down and die with dignity
Prayer prolongs the suffering
Faith is for the dying
So begin living
For all to...
Survive

Sometimes II

Anorexic sometimes
Like when I can’t rhyme
Bulimic all the rest of the time
I am half-conscious unraveling
Self-aware when breathing

Sometimes thankfully alive
It’s the least the living can do
Made in the image of some god
Who doesn’t look nothing like you

Self-mutilating sometimes
Like when my imagination dies
Scorching both arms with crosses
Feel the burn to seem alive
Half-conscious at the time

Sometimes the soul stretches
The cage shatters distant memories
A shame I can’t change this world
Made in the image of some God
Doesn’t resemble anything like me

White Jesus on the mantle
A symbol easier to look at
Comfort instils ignorance
Which harbours prejudice
Peace

Sometimes
In my final chance
I was closer to death
Than ever existed before
Sometimes I regret
Noose to the neck

Uneducation 2.0

Rather sit in silence with the scholars
Listening for a light in the darkness
Working hard with my hands
Pen to paper revolution

Fuck the bachelor’s degree
Timeless words spoken by blue collar scholars
Wasted time in a class room draining will
Listening to an egg head
Who’s just glad he’s got listeners
Empowered by a prison system mentality
Teaching children to criticise, divide and itemize
Preaching a scripted statement against revolution

Sat in silence upon linoleum
Learning to become invincible
Invisible movement revolution
Anonymous rewrote the page
So worldwide we could unite
Protest the truth with emotion
A metaphor for equality
Humanity one worldwide person

Fuck a bachelor’s degree
Walk up to an open mic will to dare
Timeless words spoken by a blue collar scholar
Knowledge is nothing without will to live
Individualism is resistance to the system
Corporate thieves receive aid packages
While banks steal citizens homes

Fuck my bachelor’s degree
Didn’t give me my will to bleed
For a cause I’m beckoned to live
This ain’t no fucking narrative
I’m against this indicative system
Ever widening the gap between heaven and hell
Gray is a situation we use to escape the right
As if will didn’t come into making the choice
A flower blossoms by instinct
So it is with our morality
Fuck blind belief
I’m leavin

Uneducation

Putting my uneducation into practice
Mocked in the hallways and sidewalks
No comrades I’m polarized lonely
Abandoned ship before it sank
Humbled I’m nearly extinct

Gradual homage to a pill
Civilized citizen’s prejudice
Ignoring any possible foreign
Socialization immersed in sleep
Street walking sidewalk strangers
Uncomfortable fear steals ya breath
I’m addressing humanity supremacists
Who exist without acknowledging
Worldwide equality

Dairy be my contraband
Evolving backwards by belief
Milk ain’t a dietary necessity
Contrary to masses popularity
Cruelty is empowered by humanity’s taste for greed
Drugged to produce more milk than naturally necessary
We the human machine demand our share
Steal their children to commit to death
Veal consumption is immature murder
Remember each loss in the chest
Neglect is tragic for every life is precious

Cow milk is rape
Frogs nearly extinct
Humanity supremacist
I’m addressing carnivores
Marching into McDonalds after a victory
Fuck ya’ll putting my uneducation into practice
More grain worldwide feeds your beef
Than starving children in Syria
Read the truth & pretend
You didn’t see…

Globalization degenerates
Laws protecting corporations
Neglecting the worldwide family
The worker will live in 1984
Slaves across the street
From your own front…
Rich corporate door

Putting uneducation to practice
Until I change my whole habitat
Recreate perception without prejudice
Marching forward without celebrating
There is no answer to my question
Earth Sheppard karma kill us
God regenerates we murder
Every step is an auction
Watch the price of life
Who you be steppin on


The march to my destination is long
Won’t see what I’m working for

Hostage Trophy

I was a hostage
A trophy upon a mantle
Not free for the living of life
Induced my wall with mirrors
Now you have all the control

In dreams stars fall
Cold mirrors reward my stair
Repairing the configuration of my eyes
Sleeping views change this sad story’s end

I look and see my shape
Then know that I am fine
But waking I feel your gaze
Holding me hostage without reward
A story of trauma for so many today
Trophy wife or mantle husband
Living without acceptance
Understanding or repair

In dreams my star falls
In ancient cold mirrors
My reward stairs at me
A new configuration of my body
Sleep’s view changes my sad end

Rafters Romance

The impartial noose
Love system was blind
Thought my sins were gone
A Single digit guess
From a hung man

The unequal weight
Of romance and death
Pit myself against the rafters
Forgot to care about tomorrow
Now your today is my ever after

The impartial noose
Love system was blind
I’d thought my sins were gone
But every day they saw the light
Until love tightened the shattered dream
Then I am a single digit guess
From a hung man

Unequal weight
Romance is death
Greed is a bitter guise
Everyone will eventually fall
For love is an unparallel drive
It conformed my voice
To poems of the void

Self Carving

When equality stays awhile
I won’t desire my own pyre
To become a human candle stick
A living fire of reign upon your parade
Existing for the hope of the extinguished

Used to carve myself
A monster self-created
A demon for equality within me
Eating me before the throne alive

When the purity of equality reigns
I’ll resign myself to my own problems
The sorrow of my self-accomplished hell
A prison I abandoned hope to dwell within

Carve myself alive
A demon self-accepted
The monster embraced inside
Eating alive before the throne

Pour the fuel
Light the match
Carve out my eyes
A human candle stick

Carve myself alive
A demon self-accepted
The monster embraced inside
Eating alive before the throne

With the world free of inequality
I’m preying upon my knees
Inhuman feelings flow
As I shave my head

Consumer Anorexia

I own next to nothing
Magazines bore forth my identity
I’ll never have a car or even TV
All I am is this image of me
Desperate attempt disease
Creating self is a problem
Forgive me ahead of…
The trauma I create

Anorexia put my eyes to sleep
All around me people were hurting
I simply couldn’t see beyond the mirror
Who I never was and never will be
Then I noticed I was no longer sane

Behind the medication
You see a magazine soul image
A sorry self-existence half alive
The mirror created a broken image
Ambitions died off when hope burned out
Please forgive me love
For the trauma I create

Anorexia brought me to the floor
Too weak of knees to walk anymore
The self-image bulimia ate away
I am an alien no longer human
No smiles of pity or shame
Not forgiveness for me

Bastard Science: Life's Worth

Bastards of science
Told me my life is worth
A fucking pea tree dish
Nothing at all in the world

I thank the devil
I fucking thank God
For all the opened doors
Perception is my view of life

Bastards wanted respect
Telling me I believed in a zombie
Logical refutes are for the worms
Evidence is the persuasion of worlds
A martyr to my heathen perception

I thank God
I thank the fucking devil
For all scars from open doors
Evidence is not logic & vice the same
Create a martyr’s moral picture
Before you’re too far gone
Too far in to ignorance
Comfort’s ocean

Transgressions Ambition

Behind every lab
Are soul’s make up
A constellation of stars
Constantly justifying life
Burning without hope

Ambition is important
Embed it with selfish pride
Beat your neighbour toothless
Take out all your problems on others
Don’t ever believe in forgiveness

Recount all your transgressions
Live awhile in your affirmations of shame
Hope hasn’t left you redemption less
The flood is a sign of life
Time reminds you

Forgiveness trumps all
Embed it within your soul
Beat your neighbours with
Let go your transgressions
To find yourself sorrow free
Every moment is an awakening
To the presence of others
Who are hurting alive

Christianity: Gossip Hell

Imagine solitude
No gossip buddies in hell
Compare one to contradict
Words seethe without bounds

A claim to look sky wards
Marching headlong into darkness
Comparison a promise on your lips
Gossip empowering without avail

Comparison cradle mouths of filth
Must believe in a god of oppression
One of selfishness against freedom
Equality is shameful like uncomfortable living
You are a slave to ashes and dust

I came out of hiding
To wipe that grin off your face
So be afraid of what I might say
The damage caused worth it all
Embrace the uncomfortable
Change before it ends
You can’t fool us
Not any more

Imagine silence
No gossip in heaven
Solitude you’ll find in hell
Swear I won’t ever stop
Not until I change it all
Until equality reigns
And comparison
Like gossip
Is dead

The All god: Heretic Witch

To the all god religions
I’d rather be seen a witch
Than waste a single breath
Being too selfishly obsessed
With the comforts of dust
While time murders
All that’s worth
Fighting for

Watched you justify a belief in a God
Who let you leave others high and die
I’m burning down all your comfort bridges
Leaving you alive to correct your crimes
Compare yourself now to the 3rd world dying
Of malnutrition and dehydration

Whoever your god is
I can’t watch this show anymore
You commit murder only to justify
By screaming a god’s name at night
On your knees you pray and wish it away
But love and peace you’ll never find
Because you deny others
Their right to life

Comfortable living
Imbues 3rd world slavery
Whoever your god is I'm disgusted by you
Eating rich meals while children die in ditches
All this time justifying and comparing
Just to ease your ignorance

If you desire to point a figure
Why the unfortunate die slow deaths
Stop your busy life look in the mirror
If only you believed in helping others
In love and acceptance you’d feel alive
I’m a heretic but witch one you won’t ever know
Before you guess God will tap the shoulder
He’ll allow time to commit your murder

I am time’s heretic
An illness imbued witch
Allowed me to accept others
That you compared to criminals
They brought you no comfort
My God is against you
Words burn holes
In hearts
Witches

Watched you justify
A belief in a God
Who let the lesser die
Claiming faith won't ever allow illness
To take away your silly little life
While the 3rd world suffer prolonged deaths
As you flush their drinking water dry

I’m burning down all your bridges
Leaving you alive to correct your crimes
Compare yourself without comfort
To the 3rd world who are dying

Witch Heretic

To all religions
I’d rather be a witch
Than waste a single breath
Existing too selfishly busy
While time murders
All that’s worth
Fighting for

I watched you justify a believe in God
Who let you leave others high and die
I’m burning down all your comfort
Leaving you with something would be a crime
Compare yourself now to the 3rd world dying
Of malnutrition and dehydration

Whoever your god is
I can’t watch this show anymore
You commit murder only to justify
By screaming a god’s name at night
On your knees you pray and wish it away
But love and peace you’ll never find
Because you deny others
Their right to life

Comfortable living
Imbues 3rd world slavery
Whoever your god is I hate him
You eat rich meals while children die in ditches
All this time justifying and comparing
Just to ease of gossip deniability
Your ignorance

If you desire to point a finger
For their reasons for suffering
Why the unfortunate die slow deaths
Stop your busy life look in the mirror
If only you believed in helping others
In love and acceptance you’d be alive
I’m a heretic but witch one you won’t ever know
Before you guess God will tap the shoulder
He’ll allow time to commit your murder

I am time’s heretic
An illness imbued witch
Allowed me to accept others
That you compared to criminals
They brought you no comfort
My God is against you all
Words burn holes
In hearts
Witches

Media Puppets

Colourless puppets of comparison
Definitely more than half illusion
Anorexic images of humanity
Coping with trauma like me

Media symbols of silence
A stigma over their parade
Starving runway queens
Will only to listen & obey

Mannequin impressions of life
Media representations of humanity
Breathing symbols of technology
Existing without physical error

Colourless puppets
Defined by half illusion
Anorexic images of humanity
Coping with illness like me

Media symbols of silence
A stigma over their parade
Starving runway queens
Will only to listen & obey
Until we erase the lifeless
Wake up the truth
Inherit an accepted life

Remix: self

Wish I could remix our relationship
Maybe I would be worth a damn
An illness overcame love
I am the saddest of men
Of all men

Now I’m a remake
My final chance at life
Falls before me in the eve
I grasp at it as an empty vile
For water at a distant well

But alas I’ve never known love
A remix of relationships for acceptance
My illness is detrimental without question
She was certain beyond any measure
I was a hero of hell heaven sent

Now I’m a remake
Lost my chance at life
Rolled the dice pulled the trigger
Grasped at life alone for too long
Whatever comes of me
My words will do

Borrowed Smiles in Hell

You borrowed who I was
Swallowed me whole and gave me sorrow
Until I was naught but disaster
My love was worth your smile
Even if tomorrow is dead

Your smile pierces the storm
It glimpses down at me in hell
Forever a day when you’re happy
Sadly I am no hero and only produce gray

You borrowed my soul
Swallowed me whole despite warnings
A fleeting imperfect mortal empire
My disclaimer of my claim
Of who I claim to be

Your smile pierces the clouds
Sadly I arrived too late for love
I heeded the warnings
But couldn’t escape
Your memories

Forever misunderstood
I am a foot soldier sent into a trap
Running forward in this great dance
Until I fall under the fire of anger
Then I shall be conquered
A hero bound for hell

Spies at the Heart

The spies reached your heart
My illness is an easy scapegoat
An escape method for freedom
Waylay love for an unworthy one

I blink
As snow falls
My body slowly
Changes positions

Spies reached your heart
My last attempt was put down
My life a single shot in the breeze
An unattainable acceptance misunderstood

I blinked
As black snow fell
My body a dead weight
Changes positions in the ashes

Spies rent us apart
Past trauma and my sickness
So please kill this heart forever
Set ignite the fuel of sorrow for fire

I blinked
As red flames rose and fell
My own funeral pyre in the dark
In the dawn’s light a phoenix reborn
Yet who would ever remember
The villain known as me

An Ancient Flag

Fire away, please
A squad of reapers
Summoned for this moment
Death wish by sword and spike
An honourable ending on a lonely night
A clock ticks a toll of the dead

I am welcomed
By the knights of old
A flag for equality planted in me
The dark rivals I could not overcome
Now I slide into death peacefully alone
Wishing only that life slipped away

I fell far behind love apart from the sun
A squad of reapers prepared to consume
Drenched in an uncompromising flame
Stuck my hand out into the dark
Hope she walked away
My illness her shame

Now I am welcomed
By ancient knights long dead
A flag for mankind upon a sword
Standing in my stone cold chest
I compromised my illness
For a future with love

All at Once

And then
When I’m before you
Would you have compassion
For my evil smile that greets you
As the noose lingers upon my neck
My charred wings and defiled heart
There is no love or consolation

Does a fool’s hope remain
That grace exist for my shame
All at once I recognize the penance
A life lived in discipline to love
Until death does do I part

Then
All at once
Before you I stood
Is there any compassion
For my evil smile that greets
As daylight breaks I finally scream
My silence broken as noose is freed
Then the spear is driven into my side
There is no love nor consolation
For a villain whose heart
Was imperfect
In love

Today is Forever

Today is like forever
A distant moment to remember
The overwhelming weight is upon us
That tomorrow won’t be where we left it

Awakened to the weight
Now every moment is upon us
As if it could become our forever
Wings of the reaper preparing
For the next chapter

I feel the eclipse of death
What we forget to believe in
Equality is a breathing purpose
That every moment in time
Eats away all we loved

Ignore the pain
As the walls creep in
Time slows the pulse
Today is our forever

Ignore the pain
As the shame creeps in
Time slows the pulse of guilt
Until all we fought for is dead

Awakened to weakness
The weight is above no equal
It is all encompassing of our days
Until we exist only as memory in the ever after

Why live on in the forgotten
Love is equalities triumph defeated
Lost the match inside most of us
This is what I believe in
Hope is in memory

If today is forever
What are we waiting for
An eclipse to engage us to live
If you need something to believe in
Just look around you equality is a forever fight
Can’t ignore the weight of the pulse beacon
It’s rhythm pounds deep within us
Until our today becomes forever

The Last March

March me to the shoreline
With your fading ideals
Murder on the mind
Adore the betrayal
Break the seal

Treason isn’t a felony
Not against a villain
Release the rage
The final bullet
Push his faith

March the hero off
To a hillside with three trees
Crucify him and see if he bleeds
Everything ends even ideals
Murder on the mind
Broken is the seal
Seventh

With your death chants
You become an ideal killer
Aware of your every action
His war defeated before an end
A villainous hero fighting prejudice
Found life alone too hard to live
Ended up bleeding out
In front of a crowd
Who cheered

I am the villainous one
March me off to the gallows
Retie the noose for each present
A genetic code imbed to fight
Until overcome by grief
Walked willingly to…
My shameful death

Monday Times: Villain's Funeral

Funerals Monday
Took my last stand
In exchange for prejudice
Worldwide murder for equality
Unacceptance fades from earth

In the end
I used every ounce
I was naught but a hollow shell
Standing before all earth for all time
The villain and company lived
And for a purpose they died

Funerals Tuesday
Pushed back due to weather
Life exchanged for a piece of mind
Worldwide change murderer of prejudice
Unacceptance fades from our earth
As on this day the villain dies

Of his own death
This is all the villain could write
Wednesday at noon show up to see
The humble funeral ceremony
A funeral pyre of one
His life set on fire

Bottle of Hearts

The bottles are of distress
My heart made another mistake
Then I drove over our love on accident
Now I can’t sleep at night without heartache

A few onlookers laughed
Some in shame they did cry
As I prepared my own noose
Right before their eyes
Come out of hiding

All the words are of love
A heart made of mistakes
Yet it cares to carry ever on
Until I am availed by darkness

A few onlookers laughed
Some in shame cried
Watched the noose
As I prepared
To die

I warp hearts filled with pleasure
Though I have no regrets
Release the untameable
Not afraid of them
Or what they say

Saw my own life
Flash before my eyes
Witnessed my own violent last breath
Then I recommitted to be the messenger
The Villain of Truth has no escape
A greater purpose
For his transgressions

Tasting My Own Damage: Regret

Hard knocks attempt at life
I came out of hiding to face the enemy
Only to close decay my eyes closed
No one told me it’d be okay

I am ultimately damaged
And it was all worth the pain
A cause worth a love buried so deep
Future of shame live eloquently
Reached out without regret
Now in your eyes I live
I live in shame

For goodness sake I paid
A price of my present and past
History of humble shame not exempt
Fooled no one I am a regret

Ultimately damaged
Fighting worth all the pain
A future of living with shame
Eloquent is my piano key melody
Reached out without regrets
I am lost in your eyes
Living half locked up

Swear I won’t change
Not in a negative way
Alone I fall farther apart
Negotiate the disaster
A I eclipse history
Acceptance
It is near

Before...

Deaf before dawn’s sunrise
Hope I won’t be too afraid to live
Survived all this time as another man
Will I wake up tomorrow a different soul

Be blind before dusk
Hope I won’t be afraid
A lonely desire to survive
Waking to walk a in different shoes

Mind melted at dark
Laying in silence all alone
Would you remember who I was
Would anyone miss me

Nerve endings going numb
Wish my hands hadn’t slipped
Can’t feel the tears roll down
From my red and hollow eyes
Felt my heart break as we let go

Insensitive always
In spite of myself
I still have hope
For everyone
Not myself

Finger Rebellion

Human will in rebellion
War injected into the blood stream
A serpent pours venom into the living
As hearses drive by the anorexic dead
Their voices terrorized by bullies
Until they chose heaven or hell

A fire in their mouths
The finger sent to repulse
A method of self-medicated detox
Ridding the self of the evil ingested

A backwards rebellion
Music denied its rightful place
While war is injected into the blood
As children wander by bare feet on concrete
Their civilization terrorized by the monetary system
Until they walked the streets broke like hell

A co-op of shells in the pocket
Finger to pull the cemetery trigger
Methods of system-selected-medication
A detox for the monetary of evil ingested

An anorexia rebellion of acceptance
An intoxication of finger pointing for change
Swelling middle digits in the streets against prejudice
Mainline media false advertisement adrenaline
Photoshop parade upon a false scale

A fire in the mouth
The finger sent to repulse
A method of self-medicated detox
Ridding the self of the evil ingested
Food is freedom for all life
Protest the control

A Full Pocket of Change

Another bomb check
Aftershock of the full blast
The magnitude of calm
A quiet planet

I be walking calm
Subliminal bomb I set off
An empire of rubble is calm
No media stage or mass of debt
Only the silence of screen and stone

Then the arrival of the unheard
A contingent of populous bread for the purpose
Normal everyday citizens awoken in the aftermath
Bringing forth the message of free acceptance
The equality of unity was always the front
A war line breathing down every throat
Don’t like it there be a prison
Or a noose to fill

Be walking calm
Subliminal bomb off set the system
An eruption demise of the monetary empire
No media stage of airbrushed images
Only the silence of screen and stone

Imagine existing in a world wageless
Where the populous exchanged doses
Be it lumber labour or a mathematical providence
All achieved without politically hatred driven prejudice

I be walking calm
Subliminal bomb I set off
An empire of rubble is calm
No media stage or mass of debt
Only the silence of screen and stone

Illness of Misunderstanding

Please stay tonight
Call me back let go the rage
Clear your heart and eyes
I the illness of misunderstanding
Tick tick then tock

I fought with my will all day
At night I wrapped you in love
Weak arms opposing their master
But for all I was no one could stand me
A creature of misunderstanding am I
For my methods were not right
Though I still, to this day try

Please remember me tonight
Slide back into my peaceful arms
Where I held you fast in slumber
Am I dreaming or awake
I am not really alive
Look in my eyes

Shards of a crystal heart
Broke blood from my every facet
My veins bleed steadily to this day
Loneliness is the gift of time to change
A challenge to live every silent moment
If only I wasn't so misunderstood
By my own mind upon my heart
I would have fought with love
Instead of against it

Please step back
Understand I didn't realize
I was broken and ill inside
Now the repair bill doubles
As loneliness builds up again
Waking up wondering why
How have I hurt so many
So many lives

The Beauty of Sound

A passion for pulse
Feel sound magnified inside
Healing with beautiful strength
Rhythms stir the heart and mind

What the wounding hell
I gave all freedom to you
Walked away into the mystery
Awaiting our hearts holding hands
Victory over the present and past

I am fighting with keys
Every key pulses electricity
A fusion of the three in unity
The metrics of heart mind and soul
By the sound of lyrics feel love or hate
Music pounds the rhythm of change
Force my silent surrender
Ignore my voice
In our lonely
World

A passion for sound
Feel the heart begin to wake up
Hear it before the hurting
Turns your heart to gray
Far beyond my reach
Beyond the stars

A passion for music
Feel the fleeting rhythm of sound
As my life crumbles away from memory
Forgetting love's mystery as eyes close
No more gardens of green, they are gray
Love was it worth it... this moment
And so all I am fades away

What if.... A Gray Wish

What if our tomorrow never comes
Will you watch our world turn to dust
Cold will be the gray of it's twilight
Would you remember our mystery
Could love lead you to find me

My fleeting memory fades
As the cold powerless gray sets in
Of wandering lonely beyond the stars
Where dreams no longer laugh or love

Find me again
Almost empty
Crush me tightly
In a loving embrace
Let the gray fade

Immortal is the soul's empire
While civilization cumbles
I search for your hand
Sorrow, love and guilt
They drive me
Blindy I flee
Towards
You

What if our tomorrow never comes
Will you watch our world turn to dust
Cold will be the gray of it's twilight
Would you remember our mystery
Could love lead you to find me

Find me again
Almost empty
Crush me tightly
In a loving embrace
Let the gray fade

What if tomorrow never comes
Would you find yourself in a world you dreamed for
Would you find me imperfectly accepted there
Loved as a villainous man sick beyond starlight
Laughter over rage would it drive you onward
To find me amidst your angry fleeting memories
They are colourless puppets of comparison
Most definitely imaginary
Love isn't, so find me

Slick Damage (Fire Away)

Like a mountains overflow
Lava power going insane
A quick sequence of damage
Like an epic oil slick

Fire away
Until my will is gone
Fire away damage sustained
Sinking is my soul ship
Into the harbours of hell

Step back to fill the sight
Raised now lock and load
Until we are eye to eye
Then defy love
Kill it in me
Fire away

Fire away
Until the damage is done
Fire away until nothing remains
Of love on my sinking ship
Down I plummet deep
To the harbours of hell

A napalm chained event
Magnitude of liquid magma
Poured upon my living flesh
Like an oil slick over animals
I am certain beyond question

If you would
Be my sail please
Stand at my side tonight
Just stand, nothing more
Stand by my side

A Love Burial

I let love slip away
Again it fell into the grave
My one great fault line
Covers all the good
Which I am

The choice was made
Love bore forth the victim
Both of us now in lonely caves
Residing in turmoil until we die
Silence and dreaming is better
Than decades of fighting
To show another love
How worthy a life

In bitter sweet dreams
My ankles are bound
So love must be lived out
Both hearts are hurting
But by our promise we survive
A dream I long ago sunk
Six feet dead and under

A choice was made
Love became the victim
Reside in lonely caves
To forget the past
Worthy was love
Until the day
I die

Or I am informed of this
That all ties are broken
That my love is an island
A solo banner flying
Of an anorexic romantic

A Swelling of Tears

Tears swelling as we see
Images on media broadcasts
Of children found in dumpsters
Suffering for who their mother was
Tears rain as I write

Every day they survived alone
Under frozen night's sky
With the will to oppose
Their life is a protest
Of true acceptance
That we can't find

Children dying from basic needs
Clean water we fucking flush down
What revelation will break your heart
Enough to change to make a difference
Before death knocks and just like them
We find ourselves in the grave

Every night they survive
Children starving on prostitute streets
Raped by their parents who forgot their face
Sold into slavery in a system we empower
The true crime is we're comfortable
Until it breaks they're our slaves
For we could free them all
Our courtesy is tears
Shed without change
Without acceptance
Without the power
Of love

Seven Pound Mystery

Welcome to the world
Seven pound mystery
Accepted no matter who
This is my eternal pledge
I your island of love

The cosmos align
Crafted by the hands of time
Our fate intertwined in this world
Birth is a protest itself
Seven pound mystery
That no matter what
We agree with life
Acceptance
Is key!

If there is one thing in life
That can move your faithful side
Could make you believe in love
Forced to feel it deep within
It's the birth of a child
A seven pound mystery

The cosmos align
I lay awake at night
Feeling the beating of all my dreams
Inside me is romance love and grace
Given up rage and who I was before
Our fate intertwined I deny it not
Beautiful seven pound mystery
Your birth is a protest
To the bonds of life
Acceptance & love

I'll welcome you to this world
Come forth and change my life
All the things yet I cannot tell
But delay not or be vanquished unborn
For then grief unknown would express in me
Every day living with the signs inside
Of my lost seven pound mystery
Overcome by grief until...
The bitter end

The cosmos align
Crafted by the hands of time
Our fate intertwined in this world
Birth is a protest itself
Seven pound mystery
That no matter what
We agree with life
Acceptance
Is key!

Warriors of Flame for Children I Pledge

I am on the road down
Onward come the warriors of hell
I'm going to free the children
Whose profit is our crown

I crossed the line
To take back the captives
Millions of lives held deep inside
Flames kept them safely apart
This is who I am, who are you
I am breathing for a rescue

Always I knew it's truth
That my heart was sown in fire
I once conformed as a coward and lair
Then I walked headlong into hell
To rebuild it's foundation
As a pillar of escape
For those held there

I'm on a road ever down
Cometh towards me be warriors of hell
In their hands be swords of bright flames
They are no danger for I willingly embrace each slice
Penetrate my soul and pillage me until I'm with death
Then set me as the foundation of hell to free them

On a road ever down
Taking back captives before the crown
Thorns traded places for three days
With the villain whose brow is flame
Onward came the warriors of hell
I embraced each flaming sword
Didn't need to die to find out
Already knew who I was
Trading my life for
Everyone

Rogue Chaos: Human Recipe

You weren't born to enslave another
By will of the monetary system
Or by an offer beyond denial
Not by addiction or turmoil
Sideways are your motives
So to hell or a cockroach
Karma will send you

Into me breath
Before I'm disconnected
Soul unprotected deep inside
Losing confidence in grace
Mankind has crossed too many lines
For the sake of comfort and corporation

Piss in the urinal
Beside you stands a preacher
As uncomfortable as a number out of place
Conformity to everything for ease
A recipe for chaos and crime
Crawl will I until I die
Hope I don't need
To me it is lost
Devoid of dreams

Breath of life into me
Before the bullying disconnects
My unprotected soul from mind and body alike
Losing confidence in any God or grace
For acceptance into peer pressure we gave
Rash behaviour and Hazing we harass one another
This is my experience can I change this world

You weren't born to enslave another
For peer pressure or bullying
By debt of the monetary system
Or by an offer beyond denial
Not by addiction or turmoil
Nor war for it is the grave
Sideways are our motives
So to hell or a cockroach
Karma will send you

(Ana) A Moment of Mercy

In better days
When love was present
I would treat myself to moments
Of acceptance then the mirror reflected
A handsome man who wasn't anorexic

It's hard to see
Past the bastard I've become
A monster of an apple who ate the tree
Who fell into ruined wounding everyone

On that better day
When love wasn't so absent
As my mirror jail's walls broke down
I saw a handsome man not an anorexic

In hindsight
It was all my fault
Dwelt too long on the shame
Prolonged the suffering of love

In my last days
I will revitalize hope for others
For me there is no redemption
Only a mirror moment of acceptance
When before me stands a man
Not a dying angel of anorexia

Sink in and Crush: Veins of Love

You've got my heart against the wall
Blood trickling out from your mouth
Bleed me dry out from my neck
Or drain the disease of my blood stream

Offered my heart on a plate
You followed your instincts
A vampire you sunk teeth in
And of my blood you ate
Drinking and changing
My fate

I won't suck your open neck dry
Dracula dreams of children at night
A bitter sweet nightmare his wish

Offered my heart on a plate
You followed your instincts
A vampire you sunk teeth in
And of my blood you ate
Drinking and changing
My fate

I couldn't ease your pain
Allowing access to my every vien
I stayed until I was sent to wander
Eventually my instincts sunk in
And the wind took my wings

Anorexia Guardian Angel
I've accepted my path

I'd offer my heart on a plate
Again in a the beat of love's veins
Follow your instincts dearest one
A vampire you sunk teeth in
And of my blood you ate
Drinking and changing
My fate

Commitment Unto Death

I had to let it go
In order to recover
My heart wanted peace
Thus it found a way
Dedication to...

Wherever I might footfall
Siblings you're all worthwhile
Every key stroke and breath
If I can't recover you will
Slowly together

It's hard to see beauty
In the bastard I've become
The apple fell far from the tree
Sadly the trauma I've caused
This is what the mirror perceives
But there is hope for you
For my siblings round the world
Until the end of it all things
My every breath will be for you

Wherever I might footfall
Siblings you're all worthwhile
Every key stroke and breath
If I can't recover you will
Slowly together

Accepted at first glance
But alas this was too quick
Reserved their reservation to uncommit
I am worth nothing but what I now give
So here I go, every breath for every life

I die, finally
Dragged through decades of this Anorexia fight
An unlikely gift given to me to perform the task
An acceptance wish held within us all
It isn't just s dream, we can find it
Remember yourself and carry well
Your scars