Anorexia: A Man Amazed(In Doubt)

Once I was truly unique I was truthful always
Now I blend myself in to mainstream
A beard since 16 my only make up
Skin deep and broken inside
Only my bad traits ever
Draw any attention

I am a man amazed
Becoming thinner day by day
Until I am accepted without a but…
But now I am told to eat
Another unacceptable thing
Rinse and repeat the cycle each day

Maybe I never cried myself to sleep
But I had nightmares of people changing me as I slept
Take scissors to my hair when will they be happy
When I am beautiful, thin enough, or conform
I could never pretend
Or truly rest inside

I am a man amazed
Becoming thinner day by day
Until I am accepted without a but…
But now I am told to eat
Another unacceptable thing
Rinse and repeat the cycle each day

I look in the mirror my reflection isn’t happy
Knowing I’m accepted ‘no matter what’
Unless I am gay or unless I f*ck up my life too bad
When will who I am be worthy
Will I ever be enough…