Tricking the Self

Try to trick myself
Into believing I am happy
When love is always missing
Breathing the paralysis of loneliness
My breathing stops my heart is dry

For the last time
I allow myself to write
To dream and see the lies
Love is dead and all is lost

You can't trick me
I'm not real I was never born
Living is for me was a jest
The mirror hurts my vacant eyes
Who can describe me after I'm gone

I didn't lose anything as God dimmed the light
Lost it all so long ago when love died from my soul
Anyone could tell this as they gaze into my empty eyes

Tricked for the last time
I was living love in a dream
Woke to find you still lost from me
A contemporary hero living a silent tragedy
Millions of written words hidden by locks from eyes

For the last time
I trick myself to write
A dream that is a sea of hope
Of a time before romance was dead
The love one lost and driven away
Wandering on with a hear full of fear